Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Work Challenges


The Boss (but really isn’t):  This person always seems to have the 411 over you and tells everyone what to do, even if they are NOT in charge. "No, we will NOT be doing that, because I didn’t approve it!”

The Kiss Up:  This person plasters a fake smile and pretends like everything is awesome to score points.  The same person who wouldn’t give you the time of day in the break room, but acts like your Queen Elizabeth in front of “important people”.  Or perhaps doesn’t care about the rules unless the “important people" are around… and THEN they invented the rules, they LOVE the rules, they would love to DEMONSTRATE the rules…(and they would LOVE to make me throw up).  "Have I told you today Mrs. Q that I just  loooovvvveee to work here, I would work for free, please cut my pay!  You are sooooo awesome!”

The Confrontation:  This sensitive person bites your head off if you insinuate in any shape or form that you disagree.  The Confrontational person is ready to attack at moments notice; most people appease the confrontational person out of fear. “You better quit looking at me that way or Ima going to give you something to look at!”

The Chameleon:  This person changes their color to match others, they ride the fence, and they NEVER have a true opinion.  This person agrees with everyone and everything.  I would rather deal with The Confrontation than The Chameleon.  “Whatever is good with you, is good  with me!”  To Suzy:  “I don’t like Heather either.”  To Heather:  “I don’t like Suzy either.”  “I don’t want to make anyone mad.”

The Sneaker:  This person loves to sling around corners, catch pieces of gossip, question what is going on, and spread it around like no ones business.  Gossip is this person’s name and Trouble is the game.  Hear that two coworkers don’t get along??  Heyyyyy, I know, let me fuel the fire.  Hear that someone is moving departments??  I know, let me lie about all the details so I can get attention.  "I don’t mean to cause trouble, but I just heard Jack say that Jill is a total nutcase and that he would rather swallow fire than look at Jill’s skanky self.  But don’t tell I said, I hate to cause trouble.”

The Know it All:  Do I really have to write anymore??  The employee that speaks up at every meeting so that we can hear a true expert.  “Actually,  I think it would be so much better if you did my plan using my specific diagram and list of steps with timing and resources because it’s obvious by the way you have pizza on your shirt that you are a total moron and shouldn’t breathe at this meeting.”

Of course I wish I could tell you that I was The Gung-Ho..full of positive energy and love no matter what is thrown at me, butttt, let’s get real.  If you care about your work, and you are emotionally attached to what you do...then you may be all these at one point or the other.  Today was a challenge for me, and I may have crossed over a few times.  Still, don’t worry I did what any crafty women like myself would do and went to eHow.com for advice, and now I am allll good.  This is what it said…

1.  Zoom in on yourself, remember there is two sides to a story!
2.  Make him addicted to you! (oh wait that’s an Ad in the middle of the page, hold on let me see the other tips)…..
3.  Be Prepared to Listen.
4.  Stay Professional!
There you go, have a great day at work tomorrow! J

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