The Unbalanced Chronicles: September 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Homecoming

Can I just tell you about my morning?? Awful, awful, awful. First, I barely slept last night. Though I was super excited to feel the baby move for the first time, I could never find a comfortable position. Second, two outfits I tried on this morning didn’t fit. Then, my hair would not do anything so I had to pin it in this awful ponytail. I also discovered I have completely lost my wedding bands. I have no idea where they are!?! I have looked everywhere. This continues to be a source of worry for me because in my state of forgetfulness I could have accidentally thrown them in the trash... or worse one of my students thought they were part of the prize box... or even worse they could have been stuck in my Long John Silver’s tray and I could have ate them!

Despite my terrible, horrible, no good, rotten morning it has been such a wonderful day. Today we had church at the Mountain Recreational State Park. The scenery was so gorgeous, the weather was perfect Fall, the sermon was so good, and the fellowship was a lot of fun. After we had sandwiches, we joined up with another family and took a hike through some of the trails. With the exception of my labored breathing, we all had a good time laughing and joking.

We only had one little problem…when Connor (who is TERRIFIED of heights) realized how high we had gotten he grabbed a hold of me (5 months pregnant here) on the slippery rocks and refused to let go. He was screaming in my ear like a boy getting slaughtered, ‘GET ME DOWN, GET ME DOWN’!!! I said “child we are both about to GO DOWN in a broken leg kind of way!” Everyone was staring and he was pulling and I was holding onto the railing for dear life. It took his dad three tries to get him off me.

On the way home we saw several bridges with patriotic signs and flags. Darren reminded me Cpl. Josh Kerns will be returning home today. Josh Kerns is a young marine who was ‘severely injured by an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan’. He has undergone numerous surgeries and procedures. As a result ‘the IED blast cost the 2008 highschool graduate the loss of both legs below the knees and his right arm below the elbow, among other severe injuries’.

As we approached our exit we noticed no one was there except for a fire truck and rescue workers. Darren said ‘let’s run home and get Connor's American Flag and watch them.’ I said ‘but nobody else is out here’. Darren looked at me like ‘first when does this family ever do what other people do’ and then he said ‘it doesn’t matter this guy needs all our respect, prayers, and good wishes…if this were Lindsay Lohan there would be a million people here’. My husband is a pretty smart fellow most days! We ran home and got the flag and pulled into a grassy spot. I started to wave the flag like crazy.

Connor stayed in the car because he was scared of the loud motorcycle noises

and Darren walked over to the bridge. The next thing we know…two more cars followed our lead…

then two more and the whole bridge was filled!

A few minutes later we got to proudly watch Josh Kerns return home, escorted by a 100 motorcycle convoy of the Patriot Guard Riders!

It was really cool to watch everyone waving, beeping, and bringing home this special young man who served for us! God Bless Josh, and God Bless all of our men and women who risk their lives for our freedoms.

So you know I had a pretty awesome day…I just hope those wedding bands turn up.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Lost

Connor and I went to the mall on a hunt for discount Scooby Doo movies. We didn’t find what we were looking for, but I picked up a few things and got in line. Apparently Connor thought we were walking out the door because he kept walking. I was so involved in finding my debit card and moving through the line that I didn’t notice he wasn’t beside me. It wasn’t until I went through the line that I noticed he wasn’t with me. I panicked and started to call out his name. It was about that same time that I heard a little boy crying and frantically screaming Mommmm! I looked through the glass of the store and noticed him by the entrance to the mall. Two things stood out. First the look on his little face. He looked completely terrified. He was crying and looking around for me. He also wasn’t shy about screaming to the top of his lungs…he was scared! That look still makes me want to cry thinking about it right now.

The second thing that stood out for me was that the mall was full of onlookers who did nothing to question why a small boy would be screaming and crying. People stared but didn’t stop or even try to get him to step away from the entrance. Two women laughed as they passed him. As soon I spotted him I mowed down two people to get to him, and I immediately scooped him up and held him on my lap for a full ten minutes. I don’t know if people think the way I think, but visions of him really being carried off or getting lost for a long time went through my mind. I was in near tears also. Connor just grasped my shoulders like I was the best thing in the world and he cried… not saying a word. I told him he did the right thing and if he is ever lost again to scream his head off. He seemed embarrassed, but I told him he was brave. We went to get a little chocolate ice cream, but he didn’t even eat much. I think the fact he was so quiet and not eating showed how traumatized he was for that few minutes. He later talked about it a lot… ‘Malls are scary placed to get lost, not like at your house where you know where everything is!’ True. I’m sure the situation was so terrifying to me because I tend to be emotional, but that glance of a lost and helpless child doesn’t leave your mind easily. I have hugged him at least a half dozen times today just thinking about the situation and how many children are abducted in this country. I know many people don’t want to get ‘involved’, but I hope if you see a child upset or screaming (whether they are alone or not) you should watch the situation to see if you need to call for help or at least talk to the child and see if there is something wrong. It only takes a minute and it could really be helpful.

Friday, September 16, 2011

You May be a Pregnant Person If...

You May be a Pregnant Person If…..

· -You tried using your cell phone three times only to realize it isn’t turned on.

· -Your 12 hour bra gives out 4 hours early (and forget about the ‘support’ hose).

· -You are ‘barefoot and pregnant’ because they don’t make shoes in extra short and triple wide.

· -During prayer and praise request in church, your response is, “Tyler that is so wonderful, Praise the Lord!” and Tyler’s response is, “I just requested prayer because I was stung by a bee!?! And I’m allergic to bees!? SO why are you praising the Lord??” My response, ‘ummmm, because your alive! Praise the Lord! You’re alive!” [quick save, right?]

· -You write a Facebook message that reads like this ….i will found that righting i here about… (Interpretation-I will find that writing I heard about…). Don’t worry I deleted it as soon as I read it….. three days later.

· -Gas pains are enough to leave you knelling on the floor.

· -You have to add things like ‘shower’ and ‘brush teeth’ to your list of things to do.

· -Dinner may be a creative mix of white bread, potato chips, and Lucky Charms.

· -You actually have to weigh the pros and cons of dragging yourself off the couch to take the Lysol and matches out of your other child’s hands.

· -Long John Silver fried crunchies taste like Fillet Mignon.

· -You secretly want to wear a shirt that says ‘THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PARTY NAKED!’ (For shock value of course.)

· -You would like to globally request that people please 1. Spare you the worst birth stories they have ever heard, such as, I labored for 20 hours and the docs could not give me meds so I passed out and was cut open while I still felt it! 2. Quit telling me what to eat. 3. Don't guess the sex of the baby based on the way that I ‘carry your weight’. FYI- I have carried my weight in the same places since I was six..ALL over.

- -Doctor’s appointments become the NEW anticipation, though worrisome, growing a human is exciting stuff!

*special blogger note: Comments such as 'wait until the baby gets here, then life really will be hell on earth' DOES not help the one who is pregnant. These comments are not useful, smart, or nice. thank you very much.