Monday, May 19, 2014

The Top Ten Things I Learned Watching Local Wrestling with My Kid

The evening started out innocently enough.  
Darren had Saturday plans and was unable to take Connor to the local armory for a wrestling event he was really dying to go to and watch.
Oh we will get a sitter and I'll take him, I said.
It's no big deal, I said
Let's bring a friend, I said

I knew I was in trouble when I walked into the armory and I was extremely over dressed in slacks and a black t-shirt. 

There are adults out there who believe that wrestling, without a shadow of a doubt, is real.  Just ask the forty year old man behind me who screamed CHEATER so many times, I began to feel buzzing in my ear.  Or ask the woman who bought a picture of TR Superstar only to rip it up and throw it in his face when he came out.

It was low budget.  It was loud.  It was cheesy.  
It was Connor's heaven.

I can tell you right now that I am NOT going to win any mom trophies by taking my child to a place where men give each other elbow smashes while fake blood spews.  Still, I have to add that I did learn a few things about life through this local event.

The Top Ten Things I Learned Watching Local Wrestling with My Kid:

1.  Don't Judge

The second you judge someone you will be forced to look at your own life.... or your own family....

and no one could be more embarrassing (trust me).

2.  Life is About Making People Feel Good

Don't let a thing like age, background, or COMPLETE STRANGERS stop you from making friends.  
My Connor loves people and they love him.  
He worked that crowd like he was running for mayor.  

These people kept giving him candy.

 This picture makes me laugh.  Just to give you some insight,
everyone is starring at Him.
 That lets you know his excitement level was at a +10.

(meanwhile I am hiding behind my Kindle like the book is really, really  good.)

Sometimes a 'friend' (a grown up woman I don't know) will jump up and help you flash your homemade sign in the face of the enemy: 
 Take that CREEP.

A little encouragement goes a long way!

3.  Don't Give Up

You may be down...

Life may have stomped your butt...

And maybe that ring is harder to get into these days...

But don't let the REF count to 3!

Because you will rise again!

You will somehow balance those ropes of life....

You!  Will!  Come BACK!!!
(and wearing elastic only helps)

4.  It Isn't Important How You Enter, 
but How You Leave

Entrance on a Budget

Life is 90% stage presence anyway.

5.  It's Always Easy to Send a Message from the Sidelines

Oh yea... this is what I think!

Bring it On
(but stay right there)


Let me in!  Let me at em'!

6.  SUPERSTARS Come From All Walks of Life...

(protein shakes optional)

You can't be a Superstar, unless you have Super Dedication.

No illegal steroid abuse going on around here.

Watch out for Foxy Roxy!

You have to admire these folks, because they are out there for one reason- they love it.  
They are certainly not getting paid.  
These people are totally responsible for their own moves, matches, costumes, and themes.  
You have to respect the creative process that entertains a lot of locals for dirt cheap.

7.  Dukes of Hazard is Cool- 
No Matter Where You See It

Just'a good ol' boys
Never meanin' no harm.
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law
Since the day they was born

8.  Whatever You DO....
Don't Call This FAKE!!!

  This is why Dad comes with me.

Serious Argument going DOWN

If only they took their homework so seriously.

9.  Patriotism is Important

Go Sarge Slaughter! 

Oh Great, China is winning...
there goes the most important economic bilateral relationship since the 21st century!

Thank you America!

10.  We All Need a Tag Team Partner

(I'll break the news to Connor later his parents will probably NEVER let B. go with us anywhere, ever again.)

For more highlights and lessons, check out this 2 min. clip:

Lucky for me, Connor caught a DVD from the REF, so we get to watch this "entertainment" 24 hours a day if we want!

Extra Life Lesson #11:
Pull the Plug on the DVD Player

Sunday, May 11, 2014

One Coo Coo Mother

Happy Mother's Day!
To All the Coo Coo Moms

I think these 'Facts About Mom' (written by Connor) pretty much summarize things:

How do you spell your mom's name:  
(well, we are from the south)

How old is your Mom?  40 
(only five years off, I haven't aged gracefully)

What is your mom's job? being a teacher 
(and full time servant)

Why do you have your mom and not someone else's mom?  because she is my mom 
(profound, yet true)

What does your mom like to wear? school clothing 
(because I lost my cool a long time ago, and nothing else fits)

What does your mom smell like? perfume 
(I think this is only because he didn't want to spell baby wipes and bratwurst sausage)

What is something that your mom always says?  
No.  No to Wrestling 
(not... I love you?  not... God Loves You?  Not... You Can Do It? Just No. and No to Wrestling.  my favorite sayings)

What makes your mom mad
me. and when my baby sister crys.
(At this point I am wondering if the teacher is about to report me to the state.  Doesn't my compassion pour out on the pages?  I get mad at my son for no reason and the baby for crying.)

What makes your mom happy?  
Mother's Day 
(my least favorite holiday)

What does your mom do when she is with her friends?  
(true dat.  I chat.)

Why is your mom the best mom ever?  
because shes nice 
(except to sons and crying babies)

these two have totally changed me in a 'I hope you don't notice I've used dry shampoo spray for 7 days in a row kind of way'.  (We won't even talk about what they have done to daddy's hair.)



What can I say? we love these little boogers.  
Every night I sneak into those bedrooms to watch them breathe. (that sounds creepy doesn't it?)   

I'm thankful for those moments when I can just watch.  
Not correct, or worry, or chase... just watch and thank God.

They are each growing so fast and turning into these human people!
It is scary, exhilarating, terrifying, fun, exhausting, exciting.....

This year Connor has made it his mission to make this a very nice Mother's Day for me.
It was AwESomE

He made breakfast for me with a very nice handmade card and a school picture that is WAY handsome.  
It was a very delicious breakfast!

Then we went to another breakfast for me, where he shared a root beer and chocolate chip pancake with me (yes at 9am, root beer!?!)
I was pretty full and less energetic than him.

He also said his soccer team won for my Mother's Day Saturday.

Even Carlee got into the action, 
although she didn't dare share her gravy with me. 
(and that is the whole reason I had children. for the extra gravy)

Darren and I  even went on our first date night in a long, long time.  Connor picked out our clothing, 

and made a note from "Darren" to me.


At church Connor planted a flower, and gave me a beautiful rose (and then beat it against everything in sight before we got to the car).  

I was very busy trying to organize our children's project for our dear mothers this morning:

I was so into it I left my car running outside for a half hour with the trunk opened before Darren found it.  
I unloaded.... I just got distracted (with the kids) on my way back to the car. 
Then, I left my phone under a chair in the Mature Sunday School class that played a cha-cha ring tone every 10 minutes for a full hour (I just wanted to die after I was told it was going off the whole time)!?!
Before I died of humiliation, I found my debit card in the hallway.  
I have no idea what happened.  

I think I blacked out in a Mom's M&M stupor.
right Carlee?

is Coo Coo.

Lucky I had some stress relief this weekend:

We played the craziest card game I have ever played, but it was such fun laughing and laughing and laughing.

(and I won!)

So this Mother's Day, I am here to admit it first, I'm Coo Coo! 
BUT, I still know a thing or two...

I know you little Carlee have a 
shy nature but a fighting spirit,
you like shoes, dresses, and sparkles
you love airplanes and motorcycles, 
but NOT lawnmowers.
I love you.

I know you Big Brother Connor, 
have a wild spirit but a very gentle nature.
Your kindness will be mistaken for weakness in this world, and
your creativity will be misunderstood (but not by me).
Your laughter touches everyone.
I love you.

Happy Mother's Day C&C
Love Your, 
 coo coo, teacher clothing wearing, don't let the baby cry, chocolate chip eating,