Saturday, May 26, 2012

My Newest Addiction (I mean Addition)

I can’t leave my house.
I can’t do laundry.
I can’t sleep.
My husband is a little jealous.


And it is all due to our new addition, not Carlee, my other addition called The iPod.

Over the past few years our school has undergone a technology makeover, and right before school ended I was issued this amazing invention that took me from The Flintstones to The Jetsons…the iPod.  Has anyone ever heard of it?


It has all these things called Apps that has news, and books, and games! Wow. And you can listen to your music, while planning your nightly meal, while taking a picture, while it tells me where I live, while telling me the weather......  I am even posting this on my Blogger App, right NOW.  And most important it gives you Facebook notifications with a little alarm. Amazing.  JUST amazing.  You don’t even have to open it up or load it or connect it to a wire or anything!?!  


My attention deficit hyperactive mind is going bananas!!!


I realize I’m a wee bit behind the times, but who can afford to keep up with the newest Apple inventions anyway.  Some people even talk like there is this thing called a Smart Phone that talks!?  I’m still trying to win Oregon Trail (the floppy disk version) not to mention our cell phones are two steps away from two tin cans and string.   BTW- did you know there is an Oregon Trail App!? 

Of course at some point I realized I needed to research some educational Apps and I have just the person to help me….



I mean somebody had to show me how to use this thing!


                         

C. showed me this game where the kids pretend text.  Connor spent 30 minutes texting/writing/ spelling different things. (ie.  'dad thank you for getting my splinter out' :)).


I tried one of the Apps today….Couch to 5K.  You just hook your earphones in and a robotic female voice will tell you when to walk, when to run, and how much time you have left, etc. etc.  Today I did the thirty minute session.  This is how it went:                              



                        


The good thing about running is that you have lots of time to think.  This was my thought process:

-There is no way. There is no way I can run.
-I wonder if this App understands how long I’ve actually been on the couch.
-Just 15 more minutes.  15 more minutes.
-I hate you, I hate you , I hate you App you.  Your probably a skinny voice activated App anyway that never has to worry about exercise.
-Why do I keep exiting out of this thing?
-How am I suppose to run without touching the screen?
-There it goes again, exiting out!
-Oooooo  a little lock…this thing has EVERYTHING.
-Come on Adele, Bruno Mars, Maroon 5…we can do it!!!
-I’m going to have to burn these clothes.
-By ‘brisk pace’ do you think this App means drag one lead foot behind the other?
-Burns. Burns. Burns.
-%&$#, !@#$, &%#@, #$%@
-I just saw on the news a man with no legs who ran the NY Marathon, surely I can run for 30 more seconds, right!?!
-7 seconds left…No one has died from running 7 seconds….go. go. Go.
-I accidentally left my phone in the band of my pants.  Oh great, I think it has permanent sweat damage.
 waterlogged screen

-Oh jeez, stop, stop, stop.
-No Mister innocent bystander, I didn’t pee myself…its called sweat. 
 -I did it!  I did it!  I finished Day One!!!
-Risin’ up, back on the street, did my time, took my chances, went the distance now I’m back on my feet (sorta), just a (wo)man and her will to surviveeeeeeeeee…….


As soon as I got home I was all ready to lay back on the couch, rest my tired muscles, and spend quality time with my little iPod.  But then I heard a hungry baby and a little boy's voice ‘moooommmmmmm can we go to the park?’ and Darren ‘what are we doing for lunch?’

This was something like my reaction (images were more dramatic in real life):

So if you don’t actually see me in person by next week it could be one of two reasons.  1.  I need an iPod Intervention   2.  I died on the running track.

Have a Appy week (haaaaaaaaa).











Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Facebook is a bunch of crap (but I still love it)!






So I’m on lock down tonight, meaning I have little money and it's raining this evening. Two kids, me, and Darren inside. Fun.  

But, there is my favorite pastime…..Facebook…a world where everyone is happy.  I get to read:  My child received the overachieving, well behaved, obedient kid in the whole world certificate/scholarship/trophy.  My husband bought me a $10,000 diamond and we are soooooooo in love.  My family is going vacationing in the Bahamas for the whole summer.  I just lost 500 pounds drinking special tea.  I went shopping all day and my husband says spend more money! Lol. He is sooo cute!  My kids just told me I’m the Greatest Ever and set up a lemonade stand so they can send me to the spa.  My boss just told me I’m the best employee ever and I got a $1,000 dollar raise!
…etc. etc. etc

So now I’m officially depressed because everyone is so blankety, blank happy.

Let’s see, what could my Facebook say this week:  Our van broke down in the middle of the highway, we don’t have the money to fix it, if I see one more hospital bill I’m going to scream, getting my son interested in school was a real challenge, my baby screaming tonight is driving me nuts, my work is overwhelming me, and I can’t fit into any of my summer clothing so I have to wear winter clothing like a weirdo because I can’t resist ice cream and lose the baby weight…(cough)…that would be my six year old baby.  Did I mention I had a fuss debate with my husband last night?

Man that Facebook status just stinks. Hmmm. Time to give my status a little face lift!

-our van broke down in the middle of the road (FB status: Our van is undergoing exciting repairs in the shop. Can’t wait. J)
-we don’t have the money to fix it (FB status:  I live for good deals, plan to pimp my ride with antiques.)
-if I see one more hospital bill I’m going to scream (FB status:  My mailbox is overflowing with people who can’t wait to hear from me.  It feels so good to be wanted.)
-it was all we could do to get my son interested in school because he would rather act like a wrestler who sniffs Red Bull everyday (FB Status: The school says they have never seen anything like my son….soooo proud of his special energy.)
-my baby screaming is driving me nuts (FB Status:  I’m Super Mom with Aspirin.   He.he. ha. Ha.  Loving Life.)
-my work is overwhelming me (FB Status:  It is so fulfilling to be busy…I am most important at my job.)
-I can’t fit into any of my summer clothing so I have to wear winter clothing like a weirdo because I can’t resist ice cream and lose the baby weight.  (FB Status:  Trying on hot new fashions.  Scarves and pants all the rage this summer.  Plan on doing some sweet heavy lifting tonight.) *special note- add a picture from the neck up.
-Did I mention I got in a little argument with my other half?  (FB Status:  I just love how passionate my husband is, had another interesting conversation, lucky!)

Great!  Now I’m ready to post my life on Facebook.  
I smell another new job idea!
Are you having a bad week?  Is your life in the dumps?  Feeling like crud this month?  For a low rate I can turn your frown upside down…. on Facebook that is!  Your friends will be begging to know more about your FAB life.   Hire me- FACEBOOK STATUS MAKEOVER EXTRORDINARE. 


  Double Like.

Good Bye My Kinder


Connorisms.....
Me:  Triple H ismore bulky then Randy Orton.
C:  Yeah, and hegets his hair wet so he can smell good for work.

C:  I told thekids at school that Carlee can count.
Me:  Honey, shecan’t count, she is only a few weeks old.
C:  She cancount, she can hold up five fingers when I ask her.

'Get off ofme dad, your going to fussacate [suffocate] me.'



'Carlee youcan be a WWE diva when you grow up! Instead of Kelly-Kelly you can beCarlee-Carlee.'
WWE Kelly-Kelly















'Mom you needto get exercise so you can get flat like me.'


Me:  Aren't you going to miss kindergarten and your teachers a little bit?
C:   I can see them in the hall next year...lets get on with summer break.



Good Bye My Little Kinder
Today was the last day of school.  What a difference a year makes.  I am proud of you Connor.  You were blessed with gifted teachers, and you worked hard and achieved much .  

You are my perfectly imperfect boy.  I love you!


First Day of School


First Day of School


Last Day of School


Last Day of  School


Adventures in Kindergarten:
Field Trip...No We Can NOT take him Home.


Shapes


Fire Safety- How to get OUT of a smoky house (exp. if mom is cooking).


Thanksgiving 


Winter


Science


Turtle Connor


Bye Little Kinders!  You are a special and wonderful part of Connor's kindergarten year.  
We know you will love next year when you will be BIG first graders! (weep) (sniff) (sniff)

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Bringin' Hats Back

Bringin' Sexy Hats Back

Maybe you've heard of this song-


well this morning at church we brought HATs Backkkkk!  Today we wore hats and scarves to celebrate our sister Donna.  Donna has cancer but it doesn't have her.  She is such a fun woman- the only woman I know who can relate to 6, 16, 36, and 60 year olds alike.  She loves the Lord and life, and she has a great sense of humor ( a shared quality).

Many people today really criticize churches.  It is easy to do when you see churches create private club type memberships/mentalities, protest in streets with words of hate, and observing members who choose to live the words of God for only an hour on Sunday.  A small percentage can really damage the rest.  God calls us to come together in worship and love.  Today was an example of how women came together to support another sister, to encourage, to raise, to laugh, to cry, to have an hour of joy together.  As a church we support each other, we make meals, we fix houses, we watch kids, we clean, and we lift those who have stumbled...its the way the world should work and it feels good.

You must check out these beautiful women and hats (I've cut out faces because believe it or not everyone may not want to star on my public blog).  But you know me, I love a good fashion statement! (and don't worry I actually listened to the sermon, even with all those pretty hats around me.)

















Donna you have successfully brought HATS back!

                    



[Verse 1] Rewritten from Sexy Back-

Donnas bringing hats backkkkkkkkkk
Them other girls don't know how to acccctttttt
I think it's special we’re a packkkkkkkk  
So turn around and show the backkkkkk
Take em' to the bridge

[Bridge]
Awsome Sista’
You see those ribbons
Sista watch them sway
I’ll let you wear mine and we will prayyyyyy
No other hat makes me feel this wayyyyy
Take em' to the chorus

[Chorus] Wear that hat girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Wear it to the front
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Dinner on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Don’t let your hat slip
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your hat on
Go ahead, be gone with it ................................

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Roughing It





Third day at work complete.  I thought with it being the end of year and all I could coast through the two weeks.  That’s the thing with being a teacher...there are no coast through days.  I've been re-baptized by the public school waters...a field trip, observation, IEP meeting, report cards, workshop training, re-organization of classroom, assessment...all awaiting me.  The good news is I have no time to worry about not being home.

There were so many times when I would rock my precious Carlee in the rocking chair during the day and try to think of all the creative jobs that I could work from home so that I wouldn't have to leave my baby.  For example I could-

-Write for Harlequin Romance- how difficult can it be to write about ‘heaving bosoms' and 'throbbing members'?
-Walk/Groom Dogs- I could hook them up to the treadmill (that I never use) and Carlee has a ton of hairbows!
-Web Show- I read about a couple who made thousands of dollars a month by videotaping their private actions online and charging ...that is completely out of the question.... but I can do a mean electric slide in a full coverage glitter costume and I could probably rake in as much money...right!?
-Telemarketer...Can I interest you in a 30 day plan that gets you out of debt with only 56% interest?
-Start my Own School- YES your child can learn the fine art of cooking, cleaning, and raising children at Sechrist's House of Chores


Of course as soon as I returned to school, I realized why I do what I do, and it 'ain’t the big bucks'.  Kids are 100% awesome, even when they are driving you a bit bananas.  Yesterday we went on our favorite field trip to our local Boy Scout Camp- one of the Nations top Scout camps.  Students have to work very hard to raise money in order to participate.  Every year we sell cookies and lemonade to teachers in order to raise the money.  This year I returned just in time take our kinders, first graders, and second graders with Mrs. E..... to Rough It for a day!

Fav. Quotes of the Day from K-2 Students:


-Mrs. Sechrist, I can count to 287…1.2.3.4.5…..
-Well you’re a big pile of ‘shhh…shugar’ plums
-I’m never speaking to you again until the day I die or until we get to school.
-Shouldn’t you be counting all of us right now?
-44…45…46…47…48…
-Let’s play Paper, Rock, Scissors, Volcano
-Mrs. Sechrist went to the Special Olympics School when she was a kid.
-There is duck poop everywhere.
-Does your mom spank you with a wooden spoon?
-Here is a Starburst Candy for you.  You can take it with your asthma inhaler if you want to.
-Tlaquepaque (Mexican restaurant) is where my Chef is...it’s where I eat.
-Don’t crunch your popcorn up like that.  Tell him to stop crunching his popcorn like that.  Don't crunch your popcorn like that.
-She won’t let me scratch her finger nail polish off.
 
- 177…178…179…180….181….
-Chef D, I like pizza with meatballs.
-Smoke is like onions, it burns your eyes.
-Is your baby here?  Why do you have milk in that bottle?
-What sound does an ostrich make?
-211…212…213..214…215…I’m tired of counting now.


Fav. Quotes of the Day from Teachers:

-Epson salts cure everything.
-This is the field trip; we are on our field trip right now.
-Put that boulder down, trust me you don't want to carry that one.
-Did you guys forget Mrs. Sechrist’s name?
-That is the High School I graduated from.  Yes, the Special Olympics High School.
-You have a corn field beside your High School?
-Next year we are going mall shopping on our field trip.
-Sweat is good for you it releases toxins.
-Don’t make me get my new hair wet fishing you out of the lake.
-You know this bus driver is going to go 75 in a 35 to get us back to school quickly.
-Geese... not ducks.  No, Geese… not ducks.  Geese… not ducks.


First on our trip we created amazing and imaginative and creative creations with our clay. 
Another clay snake anyone?

Next, Chef D. led us in cooking over hot coals- Pizza, Mac n’ Cheese, and Peach Cobbler.  I felt kinda' bad because my food doesn’t taste that good with a working oven and a microwave. 

 

 Where is the button to push start?


Then we went on to the favorite- Archery! 
Now that my students know how to aim and shoot, I won’t be putting anyone in timeout.




Last, we went on a beautiful nature hike, otherwise known as the demise of my breathing.  Is that my heart or the beating of the Tom-Tom drum? 



We gave them all a little cloth bag to collect any treasures they may find along the way.  We were thinking along the lines of flowers, acorns, feathers, pine needles..........

They were thinking along the lines of a bunch of gray rocks.  Yep. Plain, gray, heavy, rocks.  Those kids were carrying around twenty five pounds of rocks on that hike.  And guess what teacher they asked to ‘hold my bagggggg!’??  I told them there might be a few rocks missing if I was the one holding the baggggg.


Of course with the recent monsoon over the weekend, the class got a tiny bit dirty. 
We just hope they weren’t wearing Dry Clean Only. 






Even I (gasp) got dirty.  Quick!  Somebody get me some rose scented lotion and high heels! STAT!
                               



Overall it was a beautiful and entertaining day.  You could see God's paintbrush outside the camp and inside these children.  Fun was had by all (and little Carlee was waiting happily for me when I got home).





-(Bus driver, as he is buckling kids):  Your beating the heck out of me with that bag, what’s in that thing?