Facebook is a bunch of crap (but I still love it)!

So I’m on lock down tonight, meaning I have little money and it's raining this evening. Two kids, me, and Darren inside. Fun.  

But, there is my favorite pastime…..Facebook…a world where everyone is happy.  I get to read:  My child received the overachieving, well behaved, obedient kid in the whole world certificate/scholarship/trophy.  My husband bought me a $10,000 diamond and we are soooooooo in love.  My family is going vacationing in the Bahamas for the whole summer.  I just lost 500 pounds drinking special tea.  I went shopping all day and my husband says spend more money! Lol. He is sooo cute!  My kids just told me I’m the Greatest Ever and set up a lemonade stand so they can send me to the spa.  My boss just told me I’m the best employee ever and I got a $1,000 dollar raise!

…etc. etc. etc

So now I’m officially depressed because everyone is so blankety, blank happy.

Let’s see, what could my Facebook say this week:  Our van broke down in the middle of the highway, we don’t have the money to fix it, if I see one more hospital bill I’m going to scream, getting my son interested in school was a real challenge, my baby screaming tonight is driving me nuts, my work is overwhelming me, and I can’t fit into any of my summer clothing so I have to wear winter clothing like a weirdo because I can’t resist ice cream and lose the baby weight…(cough)…that would be my six year old baby.  Did I mention I had a fuss debate with my husband last night?

Man that Facebook status just stinks. Hmmm. Time to give my status a little face lift!

-our van broke down in the middle of the road (FB status: Our van is undergoing exciting repairs in the shop. Can’t wait. J)

-we don’t have the money to fix it (FB status:  I live for good deals, plan to pimp my ride with antiques.)

-if I see one more hospital bill I’m going to scream (FB status:  My mailbox is overflowing with people who can’t wait to hear from me.  It feels so good to be wanted.)

-it was all we could do to get my son interested in school because he would rather act like a wrestler who sniffs Red Bull everyday (FB Status: The school says they have never seen anything like my son….soooo proud of his special energy.)

-my baby screaming is driving me nuts (FB Status:  I’m Super Mom with Aspirin.   He.he. ha. Ha.  Loving Life.)

-my work is overwhelming me (FB Status:  It is so fulfilling to be busy…I am most important at my job.)

-I can’t fit into any of my summer clothing so I have to wear winter clothing like a weirdo because I can’t resist ice cream and lose the baby weight.  (FB Status:  Trying on hot new fashions.  Scarves and pants all the rage this summer.  Plan on doing some sweet heavy lifting tonight.) *special note- add a picture from the neck up.

-Did I mention I got in a little argument with my other half?  (FB Status:  I just love how passionate my husband is, had another interesting conversation, lucky!)

Great!  Now I’m ready to post my life on Facebook.  

I smell another new job idea!

Are you having a bad week?  Is your life in the dumps?  Feeling like crud this month?  For a low rate I can turn your frown upside down…. on Facebook that is!  Your friends will be begging to know more about your FAB life.   Hire me- FACEBOOK STATUS MAKEOVER EXTRORDINARE. 

  Double Like.