This is my 13th year of teaching. I consider myself a bit of a PRO. I mean 13 years is a long time. Take this week, we are going to The Fair, and I have devised an entire unit on this trip! We will learn about animals, maps, vocabulary, text, art... it's amazing what you can do with the County Fair.
Today we had a scientific lesson on the makings of cotton candy and we got a few things on video (below). I won't be one bit surprised if this takes me right to the top. I will be expecting Bill Gates to call and fly me to his school any day now as both cotton candy expert and guest speaker. Please feel free to borrow this lesson. Cotton Candy Making 101 Scientific Method Purpose (state the problem): How do I make cotton candy while maintaining a balance of learning and complete control while not losing my job? Research (find out about the topic): My research shows that it doesn't take very much sugar to make a BOAT load of cotton candy. Do not add extra and remove parts. Additionally, the devil ingredients start out white and then turn pink. That research in turn tells me red dye is involved with the sugar. Therefore the formula of Sugar + Dye * Kids + more of them than us - 100% of control = BAD. VERY BAD. Hypothesis (predict the outcome): I predict the children will take over the room and turn it into a land of cotton candy dreams. Experiment (develop a procedure to test the hypothesis): First, we will try not to stick to the wall. Second, we will give the illusion of actually doing this again. Third, we will have early recess. Fourth, we will never speak of this event again. Analysis (record the results of this experiment): I can't record this answer, it is too embarrassing. Conclusion (compare the hypothesis to the experiment's conclusion): The conclusion to this experiment is that you should read the directions to any machine before turning it on (even more important if you haven't used it). Further, you should try this when there are not actual children in the room. Lastly, my utmost forgiveness to the custodian. Sincerely, The Pro
Just when I thought Darren and I found one show we like to watch together....
wife A: Hey look American Ninja Warrior is on now! I hope that girl goes all the way. husband D:She won't be able to do that wall split, her legs are way too short. wife A.: You don't know that, I'm sure she will make it. She is awesome. husband D:There is no way, she is too short for that one wall. wife A.: Would you rather have a full head of hair or a good body with lots of muscles? husband D: hair. wife A.: You would be 1000 pounds with hair!?! husband D: you can workout, you can't force hair growth. I am getting a toupee.
wife A.: getting up the steps with all the toys laying around is American Ninja here.
wife A.: he was really good looking to me until they showed his car, is that a gold chain around his neck?
husband D: who do you think would do the best at the obstacle course? me or you?
wife A.: oh me, since I ran out of breath just picking the remote up just now (sarcasm)... that man on now, he has a condition that makes him lose his hair.
husband D: sure, it's called male pattern baldness, its what I have.
wife A.: oh gag, he is flittering with the microphone girl. I'm glad he lost. husband D: I bet this guy is good. Nope. Out the first round.
wife A.: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are so pretentious.
husband D: what do you mean?
wife A.: they think they are better than everybody else.
husband D: they are better than everybody else. wife A.: no they are not...
husband D: name two people they are NOT better than.
wife A.: The Obamas, Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson. oh. no that girl didn't make it. husband D: she was too short. wife A.: well that isn't fair. She needs a modification. She can't help it she is short. wife A.: I think I want a closed casket during my funeral. I just want lots of pictures everywhere. husband D: That is a bad idea. wife A.: The funeral people won't do my make up right. husband D: That depends. Where do you want to go? wife A.: I don't care, with our luck it won't matter, something weird will happen. husband D: Like... you will have one eye open and one eye closed. I want hair when I die. wife A.:If we are on a budget, I may have to run by Sally's Beauty and pick up some cheap fake hair and trim it up. husband D:that sounds fine to me. Look at our wedding photo for placement. wife A.: This Thom Tillis ad, I like how the lady leaves off the -ing on all of the words. eatin'. husband D: She is probably a paid actress from NYC. husband D: I hear something. (baby crying) wife A.:husband D:You get it. husband D: Who won? wife A.:I have no clue. It comes on again tomorrow night. husband D: No. It ended. The Voice is the new show now. wife A.:oh.