Tuesday, October 7, 2014

How to Teach Like a Pro

This is my 13th year of teaching.
I consider myself a bit of a PRO.  I mean 13 years is a long time.
Take this week,  we are going to The Fair, and I have devised an entire unit on this trip!  
We will learn about animals, maps, vocabulary, text, art... it's amazing what you can do with the County Fair.

Today we had a scientific lesson on the makings of cotton candy and we got a few things on video (below).  I won't be one bit surprised if this takes me right to the top.  
I will be expecting Bill Gates to call and fly me to his school any day now as both cotton candy expert and guest speaker.  Please feel free to borrow this lesson.

Cotton Candy Making 101

Scientific Method
Purpose (state the problem):
How do I make cotton candy while maintaining a balance of learning and complete control while not losing my job?

Research (find out about the topic):
My research shows that it doesn't take very much sugar to make a BOAT load of cotton candy.  Do not add extra and remove parts.  Additionally, the devil ingredients start out white and then turn pink.  That research in turn tells me red dye is involved with the sugar.  Therefore the formula of Sugar + Dye * Kids + more of them than us - 100% of control =  BAD. VERY BAD.

Hypothesis  (predict the outcome):
I predict the children will take over the room and turn it into a land of cotton candy dreams.

Experiment (develop a procedure to test the hypothesis):
First, we will try not to stick to the wall.
Second, we will give the illusion of actually doing this again.
Third, we will have early recess.
Fourth, we will never speak of this event again.

Analysis (record the results of this experiment):
I can't record this answer, it is too embarrassing.

Conclusion (compare the hypothesis to the experiment's conclusion):
The conclusion to this experiment is that you should read the directions to any machine before turning it on (even more important if you haven't used it).  Further, you should try this when there are not actual children in the room.  Lastly, my utmost forgiveness to the custodian.

Sincerely, 
The Pro






Sunday, September 28, 2014

Fall at the Mount


I treasure my weekends.
I treasure Fall.


I treasure this bunch!




This weekend we had time for breakfast, 
and sightseeing in the back of the truck.  
(A quick stroll around the neighborhood.)


God's Paintbrush



The leaves are turning early this year.



Sunday Church on the Mount
During service, 
I gave a chat today about helping Connor with scriptures.
I was actually nervous.


God has this situation under control.



Remember Sprout?  
Isn't he a cutie pie?
Carlee is going to be so mad she missed him.


Football on the Mount.



After church, the boys took me for a hike.
Who needs a personal trainer?


The park was busy today, and these two had people laughing everywhere.
I was keeping mental notes so I could write them down.





"Did you see a bear?  Are they like walking around this place!?! I don't want to hike."  -C.
"No Connor.  But there are killer snakes, right sir?"  -B.
"Oh good."  -C.


 


"Wow, you can see my house."  -B.
"It's like you can see the earth from here."  -C.


"We are not taking the strenous trail.  I don't even think children are allowed."  -Me  (and I'm out of shape)
"We are not children, we are men."  -B.
"Yeah!  I have a chest hair!"  -C.

(Connor is afraid of heights, but B. brought him to the overlook.)

"Don't touch me."  -C.
"Connor, I'm telling you right now that if you fall I'm jumping after you to save your life."  -B.




Cutie Pies

A Selfie
(AKA.  a little excuse to please let us stop so I don't have a heart attack.)




No Shirt. NO Problem.


"Isn't it cool how they made these steps to look like rock."  -B.





"Hey B., those holes are in the rocks because of all the mountain climbers."  -C.

"On the other side, do you end up in Chicago like Eminem in 8 miles?"  -C.






Happy Fall!

Saturday, September 27, 2014

America Ninja Warrior Quotes



 Just when I thought Darren and I found one show we like to watch together....



wife A:  Hey look American Ninja Warrior is on now!
I hope that girl goes all the way.

husband D:  She won't be able to do that wall split, her legs are way too short.


wife A.: You don't know that, I'm sure she will make it. She is awesome.


husband D:  There is no way, she is too short for that one wall.


wife A.:  Would you rather have a full head of hair or a good body with lots of muscles?


husband D:  hair.


wife A.: You would be 1000 pounds with hair!?!


husband D:  you can workout, you can't force hair growth.  I am getting a toupee.

wife A.: getting up the steps with all the toys laying around is American Ninja here.

wife A.:  he was really good looking to me until they showed his car, is that a gold chain around his neck?

husband D:  who do you think would do the best at the obstacle course?  me or you?

wife A.: oh me, since I ran out of breath just picking the remote up just now (sarcasm)... that man on now, he has a condition that makes him lose his hair.

husband D: sure, it's called male pattern baldness, its what I have.

wife A.: oh gag, he is flittering with the microphone girl.  I'm glad he lost.

husband D: I bet this guy is good.  Nope.  Out the first round.

wife A.: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are so pretentious.

husband D: what do you mean?

wife A.: they think they are better than everybody else.

husband D:  they are better than everybody else.

wife A.: no they are not...

husband D:  name two people they are NOT better than.

wife A.: The Obamas, Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson.  oh. no that girl didn't make it.

husband D: she was too short.


wife A.:  well that isn't fair.  She needs a modification.  She can't help it she is short.


wife A.: I think I want a closed casket during my funeral.  I just want lots of pictures everywhere.


husband D:  That is a bad idea.  


wife A.:  The funeral people won't do my make up right.


husband D: That depends.  Where do you want to go?


wife A.:  I don't care, with our luck it won't matter, something weird will happen.


husband D: Like... you will have one eye open and one eye closed.  I want hair when I die.


wife A.:  If we are on a budget, I may have to run by Sally's Beauty and pick up some cheap fake hair and trim it up.


husband D:   that sounds fine to me.  Look at our wedding photo for placement.


wife A.:  This Thom Tillis ad,  I like how the lady leaves off the 

-ing on all of the words.  eatin'.

husband D: She is probably a paid actress from NYC.


husband D:   I hear something.  


(baby crying)


wife A.: husband D:   You get it.


husband D: Who won?


wife A.:   I have no clue.  It comes on again tomorrow night.


husband D:  No.  It ended.  The Voice is the new show now.


wife A.:  oh.







Vogue

Carlee's first day of daycare.

Carlee Today

She has her own personal style, and you better not try to argue it.
(Check out the pink leggings to go with the independent hand washing!)

Carlee's Style:



The Seashore Smock
(she had to try on two before the final decision on this one)







The 'Kiss My Pink Shoe' 
(I'm so mad I could kick someone.)



Classic White T.



Pink Pleats
(for a ride in the back of dad's dirty truck!?!)




Butterfly and Ponytails




 Tutu Paired with a Puffy Aluminum Jacket
(in 77 degree weather)


or in Puffy Pink (signature color)
(for when your feeling more blush)



Flowing Flowers
(Nothing like a 9pm swim in the tub.)


Daisy Duke
(I agree, it's hard for anyone to pull off Daisy Dukes....Goodwill pile it will go.)


Sararose Halter Cotton Dress
(I think my hair needs to go up for this one.)

Crinoline Fun 

I love my FAB Sleeveless Cherry Dress...
minus Mondays.




Summer Princess 


Pale Buffount Skirt and Leggings


The Less is More Look
or 
Trailer Park Attire
(yes, that would be two pairs of undies)

Carlee you are soooo Vogue.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Bodacious Birthday



Happy Birthday Connor!

It feels a little surreal to have a 9 year old.
I feel so lucky to have a Connor in my life.



This year Connor knew we were saving for a special trip, and there would not be a big party.

HOWEVER,  
I am a lover of themed parties, so I had to sneak a theme in with a secret invite to one 'ninja' pal.


Connor had NO idea what I had planned until he woke up!


He loves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as much as I do, so it was a very happy surprise.

Who doesn't love Turtle Power!?!
Surprises are Rad.



We had a Totally Tubular Day!


The Shredder set traps all over the place!
The Ninjas had to use their "mad" skills to get them down


COWABUNGA!!!

We played with Secret Ooze (that farts), 'Hit The Shredder', throwing Ninja Stars...


...and the turtles trained outside using Silly String and Shields.


Taking 10 paces before the war.

"Yes, Oroku Saki, I know who you are.  We met many years ago in the home of my master, Hamato Yoshi!"

"Never lower your eye to an enemy."


Boogie Boarding our way to 'Pin the Pizza Toppings'.


We had a handsome pizza delivery guy.
"Pizza Dudes got Thirty Seconds."



Did somebody say pizza?




"Pizza, the Magic Word."



Time to blow out the candles with a birthday wish!


Wait! Didn't I just blow those out??


What is going on here?
The candles won't go out.



Even a ninja can be fooled by dad's Trick Candles!


April O Neal Princess Here...
Where did those turtles go?



"I love being a TURTLE!"
What a wonderful day, with these two Bodacious Boys.

"You live, you die, you fight as brothers.  Remember nothing is as strong as family."  -Splinter