I can’t do laundry.
I can’t sleep.
My husband is a little jealous.
And it is all due to our new addition, not Carlee, my other addition called The iPod.
Over the past few years our school has undergone a technology makeover, and right before school ended I was issued this amazing invention that took me from The Flintstones to The Jetsons…the iPod. Has anyone ever heard of it?
It has all these things called Apps that has news, and books, and games! Wow. And you can listen to your music, while planning your nightly meal, while taking a picture, while it tells me where I live, while telling me the weather...... I am even posting this on my Blogger App, right NOW. And most important it gives you Facebook notifications with a little alarm. Amazing. JUST amazing. You don’t even have to open it up or load it or connect it to a wire or anything!?!
My attention deficit hyperactive mind is going bananas!!!
I realize I’m a wee bit behind the times, but who can afford to keep up with the newest Apple inventions anyway. Some people even talk like there is this thing called a Smart Phone that talks!? I’m still trying to win Oregon Trail (the floppy disk version) not to mention our cell phones are two steps away from two tin cans and string. BTW- did you know there is an Oregon Trail App!?
Of course at some point I realized I needed to research some educational Apps and I have just the person to help me….
I mean somebody had to show me how to use this thing!
C. showed me this game where the kids pretend text. Connor spent 30 minutes texting/writing/ spelling different things. (ie. 'dad thank you for getting my splinter out' :)).
The good thing about running is that you have lots of time to think. This was my thought process:
-There is no way. There is no way I can run.
-I wonder if this App understands how long I’ve actually been on the couch.
-Just 15 more minutes. 15 more minutes.
-I hate you, I hate you , I hate you App you. Your probably a skinny voice activated App anyway that never has to worry about exercise.
-Why do I keep exiting out of this thing?
-How am I suppose to run without touching the screen?
-There it goes again, exiting out!
-Oooooo a little lock…this thing has EVERYTHING.
-Come on Adele, Bruno Mars, Maroon 5…we can do it!!!
-I’m going to have to burn these clothes.
-By ‘brisk pace’ do you think this App means drag one lead foot behind the other?
-Burns. Burns. Burns.
-%&$#, !@#$, &%#@, #$%@
-I just saw on the news a man with no legs who ran the NY Marathon, surely I can run for 30 more seconds, right!?!
-7 seconds left…No one has died from running 7 seconds….go. go. Go.
-I accidentally left my phone in the band of my pants. Oh great, I think it has permanent sweat damage.
-Oh jeez, stop, stop, stop.
-No Mister innocent bystander, I didn’t pee myself…its called sweat.
-I did it! I did it! I finished Day One!!!
-Risin’ up, back on the street, did my time, took my chances, went the distance now I’m back on my feet (sorta), just a (wo)man and her will to surviveeeeeeeeee…….
As soon as I got home I was all ready to lay back on the couch, rest my tired muscles, and spend quality time with my little iPod. But then I heard a hungry baby and a little boy's voice ‘moooommmmmmm can we go to the park?’ and Darren ‘what are we doing for lunch?’
This was something like my reaction (images were more dramatic in real life):
So if you don’t actually see me in person by next week it could be one of two reasons. 1. I need an iPod Intervention 2. I died on the running track.
Have a Appy week (haaaaaaaaa).