Monday, May 19, 2014

The Top Ten Things I Learned Watching Local Wrestling with My Kid

The evening started out innocently enough.  
Darren had Saturday plans and was unable to take Connor to the local armory for a wrestling event he was really dying to go to and watch.
Oh we will get a sitter and I'll take him, I said.
It's no big deal, I said
Let's bring a friend, I said

I knew I was in trouble when I walked into the armory and I was extremely over dressed in slacks and a black t-shirt. 

There are adults out there who believe that wrestling, without a shadow of a doubt, is real.  Just ask the forty year old man behind me who screamed CHEATER so many times, I began to feel buzzing in my ear.  Or ask the woman who bought a picture of TR Superstar only to rip it up and throw it in his face when he came out.

It was low budget.  It was loud.  It was cheesy.  
It was Connor's heaven.

I can tell you right now that I am NOT going to win any mom trophies by taking my child to a place where men give each other elbow smashes while fake blood spews.  Still, I have to add that I did learn a few things about life through this local event.

The Top Ten Things I Learned Watching Local Wrestling with My Kid:

1.  Don't Judge

The second you judge someone you will be forced to look at your own life.... or your own family....

and no one could be more embarrassing (trust me).

2.  Life is About Making People Feel Good

Don't let a thing like age, background, or COMPLETE STRANGERS stop you from making friends.  
My Connor loves people and they love him.  
He worked that crowd like he was running for mayor.  

These people kept giving him candy.

 This picture makes me laugh.  Just to give you some insight,
everyone is starring at Him.
 That lets you know his excitement level was at a +10.

(meanwhile I am hiding behind my Kindle like the book is really, really  good.)

Sometimes a 'friend' (a grown up woman I don't know) will jump up and help you flash your homemade sign in the face of the enemy: 
 Take that CREEP.

A little encouragement goes a long way!

3.  Don't Give Up

You may be down...

Life may have stomped your butt...

And maybe that ring is harder to get into these days...

But don't let the REF count to 3!

Because you will rise again!

You will somehow balance those ropes of life....

You!  Will!  Come BACK!!!
(and wearing elastic only helps)

4.  It Isn't Important How You Enter, 
but How You Leave

Entrance on a Budget

Life is 90% stage presence anyway.

5.  It's Always Easy to Send a Message from the Sidelines

Oh yea... this is what I think!

Bring it On
(but stay right there)


Let me in!  Let me at em'!

6.  SUPERSTARS Come From All Walks of Life...

(protein shakes optional)

You can't be a Superstar, unless you have Super Dedication.

No illegal steroid abuse going on around here.

Watch out for Foxy Roxy!

You have to admire these folks, because they are out there for one reason- they love it.  
They are certainly not getting paid.  
These people are totally responsible for their own moves, matches, costumes, and themes.  
You have to respect the creative process that entertains a lot of locals for dirt cheap.

7.  Dukes of Hazard is Cool- 
No Matter Where You See It

Just'a good ol' boys
Never meanin' no harm.
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law
Since the day they was born

8.  Whatever You DO....
Don't Call This FAKE!!!

  This is why Dad comes with me.

Serious Argument going DOWN

If only they took their homework so seriously.

9.  Patriotism is Important

Go Sarge Slaughter! 

Oh Great, China is winning...
there goes the most important economic bilateral relationship since the 21st century!

Thank you America!

10.  We All Need a Tag Team Partner

(I'll break the news to Connor later his parents will probably NEVER let B. go with us anywhere, ever again.)

For more highlights and lessons, check out this 2 min. clip:

Lucky for me, Connor caught a DVD from the REF, so we get to watch this "entertainment" 24 hours a day if we want!

Extra Life Lesson #11:
Pull the Plug on the DVD Player

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