You May be a Pregnant Person If...

You May be a Pregnant Person If…..

·         -You tried using your cell phone three times only to realize it isn’t turned on.

·         -Your 12 hour bra gives out 4 hours early (and forget about the ‘support’ hose).

·         -You are ‘barefoot and pregnant’ because they don’t make shoes in extra short and triple wide.

·         -During prayer and praise request in church, your response is, “Tyler that is so wonderful, Praise the Lord!” and Tyler’s response is, “I just requested prayer because I was stung by a bee!?!  And I’m allergic to bees!?  SO why are you praising the Lord??”  My response, ‘ummmm, because your alive! Praise the Lord! You’re alive!” [quick save, right?]

·         -You write a Facebook message that reads like this ….i will found that righting i here about… (Interpretation-I will find that writing I heard about…).  Don’t worry I deleted it as soon as I read it….. three days later.

·         -Gas pains are enough to leave you knelling on the floor.

·         -You have to add things like ‘shower’ and ‘brush teeth’ to your list of things to do.

·         -Dinner may be a creative mix of white bread, potato chips, and Lucky Charms.

·         -You actually have to weigh the pros and cons of dragging yourself off the couch to take the Lysol and matches out of your other child’s hands.

·        -Long John Silver fried crunchies taste like Fillet Mignon.

·         -You secretly want to wear a shirt that says ‘THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PARTY NAKED!’  (For shock value of course.)

·                                           -You would like to globally request that people please 1. Spare you the worst birth stories they have ever heard, such as, I labored for 20 hours and the docs could not give me meds so I passed out and was cut open while I still felt it!  2. Quit telling me what to eat.  3.  Don't guess the sex of the baby based on the way that I ‘carry your weight’. FYI- I have carried my weight in the same places since I was six..ALL over.

-               -Doctor’s appointments become the NEW anticipation, though worrisome, growing a human is exciting stuff!

*special blogger note:  Comments such as 'wait until the baby gets here, then life really will be hell on earth' DOES not help the one who is pregnant.  These comments are not useful, smart, or nice. thank you very much.