Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hold Fast (even if it's a BAD day)

How can you get into debt in one day??  It all started when Darren poured Connor’s cereal and realized that our roof had been leaking.  Lovely.  He said he would call someone to come out and repair our roof today…CHA-CHING.
anybody got one of these?

Fast Forward later that day to the pediatric dentist.  We realized after Connor went into a WWIII fit on our regular dentist, that there was no way he was getting his fillings fixed unless they could sedate him.  The only people who do that are “specialist”.  The minute we walked into this place I realized we were in the DISNEY LAND OF DENTISTRY.  There were bright murals, books, crayons, a little door for children, and video games to play in the waiting area.  There was even a cappuccino machine and cold water for parents!  Maybe that is why I wasn’t surprised to hear that Connor was going to require dental surgery with sedation = 2, 0000.00. CHA-CHING!  I knew Connor's mouth was expensive but GEEEEZZZZ.

I was depressed, especially in light of my impending pregnancy- CHA-CHING.  What are we to do??  Is Darren going to have to dance at night for money??  Who am I kidding?? we would really go broke then.
Back home I got a call from Connor’s medical doctor.  He has to come in for a Pre-OP appointment.  I just paid for a physical and shots!  What the CRUD??  No. The doctor said that would not be sufficient.  He has to come in for ANOTHER appointment.  CHA-CHING.  GEEZ, is Connor too young to work??  How serious are American Labor Laws?

Ten minutes later, our babysitting plan fell through and we are left reentering him into daycare when I start back work. CHA-CHING.   

yes this is me right now!

I just sat there on the couch getting angrier and angrier about all the people who never even take care of their own children, people who don’t pay for their children….but yet they get their nails done and have SUVs.  I was even resentful toward rich people who can afford children and buy $1,000 dog collars for their pets!!!  I was just mad, mad, and mad.   This is soooooo unfair.
I think GOD allowed my inner spirit to pout for about five seconds before HE reminded me of the all the things I learned this weekend.  First, Beth Moore's text for the 6-hour bible study was Deuteronomy 10:11-21…the theme HOLD FAST.  
All I could say to God is “why do you have to remind me of that now…I’m allowed to get angry…and how about everyone else...hmmmm. Do you remind them that they are thinking bad thoughts???”
But then I thought about all the ways that God Holds (and Held) Fast to me.  He held fast to me when I grew up listening to cursing, screaming, and hitting as a child.  He held fast to me when my fourth grade teacher told me I wouldn’t make it past high school.  He held fast to me when I screamed at God for all the bad things in my life.  He held fast when I was a child in BIG trouble for teaching all the kids at church how to shoot the middle finger.  He held fast to me as I scrimped and scraped my way though college.  He held fast to me when I was given a strong willed (but wonderful) child.  I would never guess that God would one day give me the ability to be a mother, teach a child to read, lead a VBS……
But am I HOLDING FAST back?  I should be on my knees thanking GOD the second I get up.  I should be so excited and happy to live in a place where I can afford books and read them!!  I should be thirsting for God’s word.  I should be begging to serve God in anyway I can…and NOT the self serving kind where I take credit or where I “bargain” with God for Blessings (yes, I'm guilty OK people).
If that wasn’t hard enough to think about….
I was even reminded of the nine teenagers that brought me to tears about their Mission Work in Honduras this summer.  Adults and children alike soaked up love, education, and God’s word like a sponge.  There were not enough bibles to give out to all the children, but they begged for a bible.  AGAIN- there were children BEGGING for a bible...could you see our children doing that? And medical care seems to be a rare jewel for most, but yet the people there are happy and content with what they have.
I also had the pleasure of watching 3 eight year-olds give their life over to God this very weekend.
It’s like the praise and worship song:
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against us?
Now you all know I’m not preachin’ to you, I’m the LAST person that needs to preach to anyone (unless I could be called the Hot Mess Ministries), but I just wanted to share how my thinking took a fast turn and in the process I avoided the ice-cream.
Now I think my day isn’t so bad.  It sounds weird but I’m the richest worried broke person I know.  I hope my friends will pray for me as I try to HOLD FAST with both hands!


  1. Praying for you. You can never see the forest for the trees when you're going through something difficult. But man, on the other side of it, after everything works out okay, you turn around and look behind you. Wow! It always works itself out, usually in very unexpected ways. Hang in there doll!

  2. I appreciate that...I need those prayers but I am confident that God will take care of all! I think other women should do more talking about issues that worry us and be supportive toward one another!