Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Gift

The baby cries, cries, and cries
Three hours straight 
How can a baby cry that long?
There is no family dinner time
There is no joking
There is only the trading off of the baby
I snap at the husband
I am short with the son
I cry for not having more self control
When is the work going to be done?  
There is more stress eating...
I feel guilty for stress eating
There is no time
There has to be something wrong
I must be a bad mother
Is God listening to my prayers? 
Is God mad at me?
I feel guilty for not appreciating what I have, 
I feel guilty for questioning
The anxiety, tiredness, and weariness settle 
There is no light in the tunnel for me tonight
Then the ‘what ifs’ happen.....
what if the baby has major issues?
what if she has problems undiscovered?  
What if the baby just dislikes her parents?  
what if she never stops crying?   
what if...what if...what if...
then the ‘I need to’ start.....
I need to help my son read better
I need to do the laundry
I need to support my husband
I need to take care of myself.....
I need to...I need to...I need to...
Feeling all alone
The next day
I walk into work wondering how the day will go
A friend has a special gift waiting...
A gift for me

They sparkle and shine 
They are pink
They represent awareness
They are perfect

They are more than a gift
Someone was thinking of me
Someone wanted to make my day better
Someone wanted me to know that they love me
I feel appreciated  
I feel like a girl 
With a new gift
I feel like I have support
from a friend
And I am thankful to another woman 
Who simply understands 
And wanted to make me feel good...
with a special gift.

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