Monday, November 12, 2012

All Planes Don't Land in Georgia (my new self help book)

For the first time in his life, Connor is having a real problem.  He has encountered a child who is driving him NUTS.  Connor isn’t a communicator about his personal life.  He is a “how was school today? fine” person.  Recently these statements have been cropping up daily:
Mom (this one child) thinks (child) knows everything...(child) told me all airplanes land in Georgia!! No matter what, (child) wouldn’t listen me tell that there are airports everywhere!  
Mommmm, you don’t understand (child) always lies when I tell an adult, likes to hit me for fun....Mommmm (child) makes my stomach hurt when (child) yells and is going to come over to play, (child) tells the other kids they are going to jail, (child) says is my friend and then gets mad and tries to make the other kids mad at me, etc. etc. etc.

When I reminded him (this child who is younger and smaller) seems sweet and excited to see Connor, he says, I don’t understand how (child) is so nice in front of other people and so mean when we are alone.
It just seems everything this one kid does rubs Connor the wrong way.

I went ahead and gave Connor the bad news-  he will encounter an “all airplanes land in Georgia” person for his whole entire LIFE.  I don’t know how to tell him that I deal with people on a daily basis who believe that “all airplanes land in Georgia” and there isn’t a darn thing that you can do to convince them otherwise. I deal with people who love me in front of the boss and shoot me laser death stares the rest of the time (unless they need something of course), I deal with people who confide in me one minute and then they are soon telling something “juicy” about ME to someone the next minute.  I don’t know a single person who hasn’t a. shown these behaviors  b. dealt with them from others  c.all of the above.

 I hope this is Georgia?

It’s like I told Connor...learn to deal with this now, and you will be better equipped to work with others.  I gave him some parent friendly advice (better than get drunk and punch)-
1.  Play somewhere else and when you can’t play somewhere else 2.  pray about it  3.  tell (child) that you won’t tolerate bullying  4.  always be kind but stand up for yourself  5.  tell an adult if you all are putting hands on each other  6.  (most important) LET IT GO! Who CARES if someone thinks ALL planes land in Georgia!?  7.  Cling to your family and friends that truly understand where planes land.  
Of course he stared at me like only a young boy could, but we’ll keep working on it.  

This is all from Connor’s perspective, and I feel it best he learn to deal. I’m glad he is talking to me about it (even if he doesn’t listen).  I wish that as an adult I could always remember to not let those “All Planes Land in Georgia” people bother me to the point I get an ulcer.  I wish I could let the “Planes Go in Different Directions to Different Locations” people help me.  I've got it narrowed down into a self help list.

“All Planes Land in Georgia” people:
-friends who don’t speak unless they need something
-friends who gossip about what they think they know about you
-friends who don’t support you
-friends who don’t have concern for how you are doing
-friends who have negative things to say behind your back
-friends who allow the negative things to be said 
-friends who aren’t honest with you
-friends who care more about bringing you down, so they can be brought up
-friends who aren’t there for the boring moments but only there for the exciting moments

“Planes Go in Different Directions to Different Locations” People Who Matter:
-friends who are really busy but still make time to send you an email, text, a note, a let you know they are thinking of you
-friends who share secrets over cold chinese and wine and never speak of it again
-friends who tell you that you are great (when your not), tell you how great you look (when you don’t), tell you that you are special (and they mean it)
-friends who watch the children so you can get a minute, bring you dinner just because, invite you out for a breather...
-friends who make a Voo Doo Doll out of the people who can’t love you for you.
-friends whom people wouldn’t dare say a negative word about you in front of,  because if they did they would get a tongue lashing of their lives
-friends who are honest about what is going on to help you not hurt you
-friends who turn to you for comfort and vice versa
-friends who are there for the weddings and baby showers, but also there for you to vent first couples argument and help with the challenging diaper changes
-friends who will humbly get on their knees to pray for you just so your baby won't cry, so you will get through the financial strain, because they love you.

Use this information wisely my mentees and get the heck out of Georgia.

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