The Myth of My Fear

The Myth of Fear
By Amanda S.

In nature all of the creatures valued the tier of power.  

It was understood.  

Know your place in the Land. Know where you come from.  Accept It.

The magnificent Lioness knew this as she proudly marched through the rivers, the marsh, and the fields.  Her flowing mane seemed to mock all of the others.  I am Better.  Look at Me!  

She was massive, strong, powerful, and confident.  

She had no fear of confidence.

The Apeious pounded the ground with pride.  Rather The Family walked in pride, always together.  No one dared cross the Apeious.  No one tried to infiltrate them.  They were one.  

Loyal.  Strong.  Dark.  Loved.  

The Apeious owned the entire Knotted Forest.  They had no fear of family and security.

Even the Slither knew it’s place.  It was low to the ground, but it lashed out at lighting speed.  It defied others with it’s poisonous touch, deceiving nature, and intellectual plans.  The Slither had no fear of death.  It owned death.

Some would say that Grubella had the most challenging journey in nature.  Struggling.  Slow.  Plump.  Grubella.  

Grubella had the worst fate of all- insignificance.  

In the darkest part of her world was a very bright spot- The Unicorn.  

Her friend the Unicorn was mythical, magical, beautiful, and wonderful.  Grubella longed to be like her.  She always wanted to hear her stories.  To know her was to love her.  The Unicorn really felt the same way.  They would spend days talking about the magic in the air.  The Unicorn would always take Grubella for rides through the twisted jungles and majestic tipped mountains.  It felt amazing to go so fast and to be in wonder.

One day the land fell under a curse.

Too many creatures with too many egos, made for a disaster.

Creatures who take but never give back.

The nature was not respected or loved.

The nature began to die.

The Unicorn tried with all of her might to protect Grubella from the destruction surrounding them.  The Unicorn brought her food, she gave her rides, and most important of all she gave her hope and encouragement.

It was not enough.  

With the nature, Grubella was dying.

A hard shell began to form around Grubella.

Please don’t go.  Please don’t go.

The Unicorn begged nature to spare her little friend.

She loved Grubella.  

She loved their conversations and laughter.  

She loved her purpose to care for her.

The Unicorn tried to break the shell around Grubella. 

The trees and the vines and the leaves told her that she would destroy her friend even more if she dare help against nature.

By nightfall, the worn Unicorn fell into a deep slumber.  

When the Unicorn woke before day break she found herself in the presence of the most gorgeous creature she had ever witnessed.  

She lay in a pool of glitter with a sweeping mane of gold hair.  

It was her wings that were the most glorious.  

Grand. Colorful.  Illuminating.

She was unmoving, and the Unicorn became overwhelmed and began to cry.

Do not cry dear friend.  It is me, Grubella.

No. It could not be.  

The Unicorn starred into two brilliant and familiar eyes.

It was Grubella!

The Unicorn felt panic at the struggling creature before her.

I will help you.

I will care for you.

I can save you.

Oh Unicorn, who I love.

This time I must save myself.

Grubella smiled weakly.  
I know you are fearful, but

it is my journey now.  

If I live or die I have to try now.

The Unicorn walked away, stepping in her own puddle of tears as she left, leaving her friend in pain.

It was many moons before the Unicorn heard from Grubella again.  The Land was dying and life was a dull shade of grey now. 

At her lowest point, the Unicorn felt herself leave the world.   Before she closed her eyes, she looked up….

 there floating in the sky was the winged beauty with familiar eyes.

She assumed the worse but got the best.

I will now save you friend. Grubella whispered.

And she did.  

It was Grubella’s dream to save her friend now.

After that, Grubella saved the Land and others like it.  She humbled the creatures.  She made them understand that the circle of life takes strength, perseverance, and time at the bottom before one can understand life.

The Unicorn rarely saw her friend, but always felt her magic.  From that time forward, the unicorn shared the secret of fear with her children, her great grandchildren, her great, great, great grandchildren:

I know you are fearful, but 
it is your journey now.  

If you live or die, you have to try now.

The Myth of My Fire

The Myth of My Fire

By Amanda S.

It was the annual festival of life where the people came together to celebrate the new.  They whispered in anticipation.  All of them wondering what the gift of the child offered.  
The Gift of Fire.  
A hush went over the crowd as they wondered how this gift would impact them as a village.  The child slowly walked out of the tent.  Her eyes were the only windows to her gift-

Powerful.  Dangerous. Warm. Fire.

The child was special indeed, but she did not always appreciate or understand her gift.  In her sensitivity she was unsure of why she was different and how to manage that difference.

As she grew older each day, she became a little fearful of herself, and focused on the many that she met on her journey.

The Child of Earth- grounded, connected to the world, full of ideas, busy…

Can I borrow your fire for more energy? the Child of Earth asked.

Of course!  said the Child of Fire.

The Child of Water-  in constant movement, fluidly, self assured, useful….

Can I borrow your fire for a reaction? for purpose? the Child of Water asked.

Yes you can!  said the Child of Fire.

The Child of Stars-  full of dreams, ideas, confident, shiny, brilliant, wise...

Can I borrow your fire for light, so that I may shine more brightly? the Child of Stars asked.

I guess that will be good, so that you can shine, said the Child of Fire.

The Child of Fire felt herself weaken, but she preferred to understand the other gifts to her own.  She preferred to help as to not focus on herself, as to not have to control herself.

Finally the Child of the Sun- leader, keeper of time, taking others out of darkness, needed, Grand….

Can I borrow your fire for heat? the Child of the Sun asked.

Yes, I suppose if it will help you,  said the Child of Fire hesitatingly.  

Now the Child of the Fire had nothing left.  She had no starter, no passion, no heat, and no light.  
She waited for the others to help her, but they were busy with their own abilities.  

She could no longer help anyone.

The child with the gift of Fire, decided she had to ignite her own flame if she wanted to survive.

Each day she spent time on nurturing her fire.

She lay on the soft earth catching wood and brush drifting by…

She danced with the cool water, taunting and playing around it…

She reached for the stars, saving the flecks of light she needed…

She basked in the hot sun, capturing licks of heat…

Soon she felt the spark, 
then the flame, 
and then the roar of her own fire.  

And from that time on she appreciated her powerful, emotional, passionate, giving, and warm... Gift of Fire.

A Breath Of Fresh Awe

If most people had to fully describe me, they definitely would have to use words like- 

wound tight, keyed up, walking heart attack 

(not to completely describe me, but it would have to be a part...)

I wish I could blame it on my job, my kids, or someone else,

 but when I was a 19 year old cashier, I use to stress if my rings per minute were down.

I've been wound up tight my whole life.

I am motivated.  I am a goal setter.  

I am annoying as crap.

I'm terrible at managing my stress.

Over the years I've even tried a variety of medications for my worrisome nature, but they usually just make me slow, sleepy, lethargic... 

I would rather be spastic.

I even read an article that may explain why my children were such excessive criers as babies.

When my friend J. sent out an invite to the 

Yoga and Creative Writing Workshop- Igniting your Creative Flame,

I thought it looked interesting but not necessarily for me.....

...I didn't want a bunch of hipsters wearing hemp pants telling me to kiss Budha, put my legs behind my head, and Hummmmm Breath my way through two children, a husband, and stack of bills.

Yeah. Right.

Besides, who was going to unload the dishwasher while I'm gone??

Then J. and I went to lunch and she told me her experience of writing, moving, and understanding herself in moments of stress and anxiety.  

We often talk about nurturing our spiritual lives, which can mean different things to us at times, but I enjoy our conversations.

J. knew I enjoyed the creative writing process, and she highly encouraged me to do this workshop.

These days I'm creative, as long as the glue sticks are not dried out and the finger paint isn't used up.

Right away, the people were warm and welcoming.

We had a lot of diversity in the room. 

Different shapes, sizes, and ages.

  Some people I knew really well, some people I knew about, and some people I had never met before.  

I felt we were all connected in that we didn't fit a specific mold.

 

Everyone had a journey, a story, a walk, and a philosophy of life.

I loved reconnecting with old friends and making new friends!

I want Professor B's sparkly blue skirt.

I really enjoyed our teachers.

Professor B. and Yogi Love

I think Connor would have loved Professor B.
She happens to be a gifted (published) author.

She has this calming, intelligent voice partnered with these colorful tattoos and a tiny, jeweled nose ring.  I could see him asking her a million questions about that nose ring (and trying to see if he could get one). 

Yogi Love knows her craft as well.  

I never thought she would get our group grounded enough to do the yoga moves effectively.

She was able to have us move from each sequence, and she created an atmosphere of relaxation and flow.  She taught us how attitude and movement impact how we feel and how we react.

They were beautiful teachers.

compliments to the cook:
snacks/ lunch with fresh fruits, vegetables, cheeses, and nuts

Like my nature, if I exercise, I prefer it to be quick to some rock and roll.  I feel like if I'm not breathing hard and sweating (and believe me it doesn't take much), I'm not doing work.

Yogi Love taught us that this is about being present while appreciating the fact that you can move, you can breath, you can show love to yourself!!  
You can also give yourself a workout in this mental process.

I tend to hold my breath a lot throughout the day, especially if I am upset.  I even hold my breath when I exercise. I don't even notice it until I let it out in a whoooossshhh.
Over the weekend, a was made to do a lot of deep breathing.    
I noticed the impact right away.  
Not only did I not need my inhaler, but I felt so much more relaxed.

the beautiful studio created a lovely element to the workshop

Professor B. lead us in some creative writing exercises.

I love my word processor, but I didn't think my MACbook would be welcome.

I brought a sketchpad.

The simple act of writing with a pen, and without auto spell check, copy/paste, and Google search, grounded me.

I was really shocked at how much I had to say and how much I was able to write creatively.  

I filled every minute of time with space in that sketchpad. 

Quietly

It was a miracle.

Professor B. lead us in a series of touching poems during the yoga sequence.  We followed that with writing our own myths.

My unedited myths are here and here.  

Perhaps I can go back and give my stories more detail soon.

(I know there are incomplete sentences, I'm obsessed with the overuse of the comma, and one is not suppose to end a sentence in a preposition.  This is CREATIVE bad sentence structure.)

a dear 'tree' friend 

Through poetry, prose, breath, movement, motion, and friendship... 

I felt myself..well... connect to myself. 

a walk in the present

Normally, I am unable to focus to pray for longer than a few minutes.

I found myself developing more of a spiritual connection with God through the meditation. 

God showed me through the stretching of my fingers to the wiggling of my toes that I was loved and we should show self love.

Yogi Love made a great point during our restorative session:

If you look at the persecution of people going on in the world right now, whether it be for their gender or for their faith, we have a lot to be thankful for in America.  

We should appreciate what we have and who we are at all times. 

We should love our brother and sister, regardless of differences.

Be Present.

Love.

Have Faith.

 LAUGH!

5 AM this morning:
 movement partnered with writing out my prayers

My new philosophy:  Lotus Pray, Lotus all Pray

I think the older I get, 

the more I've come to the realization that this is truly the body that we have for life.

The more aware we are of our bodies, the more love we offer ourselves through healthy choices and limitation, the more love and service we will be able to offer others.

I hope to use these strategies to truly manage stress in my life without completely putting out my creative fire!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

-Psalm 139:14

Yoga 10- No Limits

I've recently been reading and completing a 28 day yoga challenge.  I have always hated yoga.  It is too slow and boring.  However, this summer I have found a lot of things that I am enjoying about it.  
I like that is practices stilling fidgety bodies and calming rambling minds to appreciate the present moment.  
Each day gives guidance, yoga poses, thoughts, and intentions.  Today is day ten.  
Today's challenge- find your inner child and take joy in exercise/ movement like a child!  (That is easier to do when you have children.)

Part of the yoga challenge is to write a fairy tale or 'child like' story.  
I wrote it with these scriptures in mind- 25 Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.  -Joshua 10:25
24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. -Mark 11:24

Do not be discouraged or frustrated, because just when you are ready to have a breakdown, you will have a breakthrough!  
#nolimits


This is taken from my journal:

Day:  ten
My intention in 28 days is to become more physically and spiritually healthy.

1.  Yogapholosphy:  Recreation will Re-Create
"...the time you set aside for movement is joyous!"

"Enjoy your time as if you were a child.  If you were not very active, it's never too late.  Now is the time to become childlike again."
"Exercise is creative and fuels my exercise.  I am a creative being." -mindy ingberg


If I follow my children they keep me young.  Jumping on the trampoline, swimming, playing basketball, building a fort, etc.  
If I take the time to move with them, they could keep me young.  My goal is to engage in more fun activities with them throughout the week.

2.  Make a Gratitude List to God:
-God's direction
-running
-movement
-health
-vacation time
-friendships
-encouraging words
-family

3.  Yoga Pose Today:  The Bridge

• 
  

  Anatomical Focus

  • Uterus

  ▼
  

  Therapeutic Applications

  • Stress

  ▼
  

  Benefits

  • Stretches the chest, neck, and spine
  • Calms the brain and helps alleviate stress and mild depression
  • Stimulates abdominal organs, lungs, and thyroid
  • Rejuvenates tired legs
  • Improves digestion
  • Helps relieve the symptoms of menopause
  • Relieves menstrual discomfort when done supported
  • Reduces anxiety, fatigue, backache, headache, and insomnia
  • Therapeutic for asthma, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, and sinusitis

  

4.  Cardio:  -couch to 5K

5. Write a Fairytale. 
 "There is nothing more freeing than writing a fairy tale and creating fictional characters....they say all roles in a play are different expressions of archetypes that reflect various aspects of ourselves." -mindy ingberg

No Limits
Once upon a time there was a caterpillar named Angelica!  Angelica had a long plump body with bright beautiful colors.  

Everyday Angelica would get up really early and stretch out her long, fat, and colorful body.  She would climb the big huge tree beside her leaf.  Her secret dream was to one day reach the beautiful blue sky and the white puffy clouds.

All the other insects scoffed at Angelica.  "Haaaaa. Angelica, you are a real jokester!" shouted Ant.  "Imagine, you think YOU could actually even get close to the sky.  What a dreamer!" cried Cricket.  "Come down here where you belong!" Beetle demanded.  

***

Everyday all of the other insects laughed and teased Angelica.  You are too fat, you have too many legs, you are an insect, you do not belong there.....all of the other bugs gave all the reasons she SHOULD NOT climb to the sky!

Although Angelica, never quite reached the sky, she took her time enjoying the journey.  Angelica liked moving and reaching over the rough branches, feeling the sunshine, taking in the view, and praising God for who she was when climbing up the big, glorious tree! 

***

One day Angelica hit a MAJOR bump, she felt led to stop practicing, slow down, think, and just pray.  This did not suit Angelica at all because she was very impatient.  The only good thing about slowing down was that she got to wait while wrapping herself  in the most beautiful emerald green shell.  

She waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.  She thought, and prayed, and reflected.

Just when she thought God wasn't going to help OR didn't love her OR didn't want her anymoreeeeeee...
she felt the beautiful shell fall to the ground!!! Finally.

Suddenly, she felt changed.  She felt renewed.  She felt the same but really different.  She felt amazing!!!

The first thing she wanted to do was to climb the big, huge, tree.  She had missed her practice.

Oddly, as she began to inch up the tree she no longer heard the taunting and the doubts from the other bugs.  She only heard her determination. 

Just as she reached her usual stopping point, she felt herself moving further, and further, and further up the tree.....

until she finally felt her self soar high!  

She soared to places she had never been before.

She couldn't believe that she was really reaching the beautiful sky with the big puffy clouds!

Below were all of her insect friends, who thought they saw a familiar friend- colorful and beautiful- but they quickly dismissed it.  They only understood the hole that surrounded them.

Meanwhile, Angelica soared farther than even she ever thought was possible.  She felt herself rise off the tree and into the most beautiful blue created, into the most exciting adventure ever, 

and she loved every minute of it.