Saturday, September 27, 2014

America Ninja Warrior Quotes

 Just when I thought Darren and I found one show we like to watch together....

wife A:  Hey look American Ninja Warrior is on now!
I hope that girl goes all the way.

husband D:  She won't be able to do that wall split, her legs are way too short.

wife A.: You don't know that, I'm sure she will make it. She is awesome.

husband D:  There is no way, she is too short for that one wall.

wife A.:  Would you rather have a full head of hair or a good body with lots of muscles?

husband D:  hair.

wife A.: You would be 1000 pounds with hair!?!

husband D:  you can workout, you can't force hair growth.  I am getting a toupee.

wife A.: getting up the steps with all the toys laying around is American Ninja here.

wife A.:  he was really good looking to me until they showed his car, is that a gold chain around his neck?

husband D:  who do you think would do the best at the obstacle course?  me or you?

wife A.: oh me, since I ran out of breath just picking the remote up just now (sarcasm)... that man on now, he has a condition that makes him lose his hair.

husband D: sure, it's called male pattern baldness, its what I have.

wife A.: oh gag, he is flittering with the microphone girl.  I'm glad he lost.

husband D: I bet this guy is good.  Nope.  Out the first round.

wife A.: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are so pretentious.

husband D: what do you mean?

wife A.: they think they are better than everybody else.

husband D:  they are better than everybody else.

wife A.: no they are not...

husband D:  name two people they are NOT better than.

wife A.: The Obamas, Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson.  oh. no that girl didn't make it.

husband D: she was too short.

wife A.:  well that isn't fair.  She needs a modification.  She can't help it she is short.

wife A.: I think I want a closed casket during my funeral.  I just want lots of pictures everywhere.

husband D:  That is a bad idea.  

wife A.:  The funeral people won't do my make up right.

husband D: That depends.  Where do you want to go?

wife A.:  I don't care, with our luck it won't matter, something weird will happen.

husband D: Like... you will have one eye open and one eye closed.  I want hair when I die.

wife A.:  If we are on a budget, I may have to run by Sally's Beauty and pick up some cheap fake hair and trim it up.

husband D:   that sounds fine to me.  Look at our wedding photo for placement.

wife A.:  This Thom Tillis ad,  I like how the lady leaves off the 

-ing on all of the words.  eatin'.

husband D: She is probably a paid actress from NYC.

husband D:   I hear something.  

(baby crying)

wife A.: husband D:   You get it.

husband D: Who won?

wife A.:   I have no clue.  It comes on again tomorrow night.

husband D:  No.  It ended.  The Voice is the new show now.

wife A.:  oh.

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