Humbled

Tonight my husband taught me the true meaning of Christmas.

He would NEVER tell this story.

But of course I can.

It started with a bag of apples.

I went to the store today with a specific list.

I would be preparing my first turkey.

I did the research on the Google

(thirty minutes worth).

I wrote down the perfect list (including the meat thermometer and turkey tray).

But, somehow I had accidentally put two bags of apples in the cart instead of one.

I came home.

Darren looked through each item (mentally calculating the damage).

We have went over budget this month.

TO add to the pressure, it is December 23 and two out of three of Connor’s Santa’s gift have not arrived via UPS.

(the child is going to have to open pictures on Christmas morning with IOUs from Santa!?!)

Anyway, back to the apples.

I told Darren not to worry, we could pass them off for Christmas gifts, or maybe we could EAT two bags of apples instead of the box of cookies I bought.

OUT OF THE BLUE, Darren says, 'I know a family that needs these apples and this turkey.  I think I will take it by their house'.

He then went through all our cabinets taking things out as I was putting them back in....

excuse meeeeee

I was planning to cook. the. turkey.

We need this, and we need that, put that back......

Apparently, a while back a man had asked to have money from Darren while he was on the sales lot.  The man told him his address and said he needed gas. 

Are you kidding!?  We are going to a strangers house with a thawed turkey?

Fine. Whatever.  Let’s do this.  I hope you know what you are doing.

In piled the family with a few bags of food, INCLUDING my first turkey.

When we arrived, 

I immediately wished I had cleared out every single thing in my house for this family.

I was the innkeeper that had no room.

I saw a small shack, raising a grandchild, no TV, no car, limited electricity, clothing hanging on a clothing line in the cold....

Connor watched his father take the food.

And I sat in the back of the car and quietly wept.

I wept because I could do more...I will do more...

because I have so much....

because I was so proud of Darren...

because Darren was setting a humble and kind example...

because Connor said he wanted to give more to them too....

We all went out to eat at a restaurant.

The restaurant was nearly empty.

We saw one family from our church.

We chatted.  They left.

When it was our turn to pay, our waiter said our meal had been paid.

The family from our church had paid for our entire meal before they left.

God’s Blessing circled right around to us instantly.

The meaning of Christmas, not the UPS, not the gifts, not the turkey...

to love as Christ loved us.

Just when I’m about to kill my husband, he does something so darn awesome  I have no choice but to love him. 

Merry Christmas

33.  “My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come.34.  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 36. Simon Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”  Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”  -John:  13.  33-36

Family Stars

What a weekend!

I'm pooped, but it was great.

I left work Friday feeling so depleted and down, so I am thanking God for reminding me of the important gifts in life.

I felt well enough to watch Connor play his second basketball game!  

I speed ordered some ear buds to assist with the noise. 

The last game went terrible due to the LOUD stop clock.  

Once the stress of the noise was diminished, he had a fantastic time!

Connor and Dad

Although, it was a little hard to hear directions.  Connor just roamed the court, oblivious to coach calling his name.

I got tickled because he guarded this pretty girl the whole time.  I saw him chatting with her and she would laugh.  I definitely think Connor is more into the "social" aspect of the game over the competitiveness.

Baby Carlee watched her brother the whole time! 

#1 Cheerleader

He even made a basket, a score, a goal...I don't know what you call it.

By the end of the weekend he was telling everyone he did a 360 degree dunk!

(Just a slight exaggeration.)

The best part was cousins O and O came out to cheer him on, and then took him out for celebration pizza!

We are talking a full buffet of pizza!

Double YUMMO

What a treat to be together as a family, to love and celebrate the "slam dunks" in life.

Your a STAR to us Connor.

DORT (disciples of round table) sunday school girls in all our tacky glory!

That night was a wacky, tacky Christmas party.

Darren opted out, but I just couldn't turn down a party, much less a tacky Christmas party!

Off I went by myself

....I couldn't stay long, but the food and fellowship was well worth the drive.

(plus my outfit rocks)

Gingerbread Man at Church

Psalm 139:

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.

One thing God showed me through the youth and children-

God created you, and it wasn't an accident.  Don't let others determine who you are or who you are NOT simply because they don't understand or agree.

 

"God never changes his mind about the people he calls and the gifts he gives them." Romans 11:29 (NCV)

Tonight was showtime!  

I played the North Star in the Christmas play tonight.

The North Star is totally full of herself and totally full of DRAMA.

(I loved her!)

Prep work was great fun.  

I looked everywhere for a movie star dress. I finally found a discounted (party, pink, plus, peasant dress to be exact) on discount for 25.00!

I later decided to wear a sparkly jacket and purple tights.

This morning in church, a child asked why I had white hair in the front, so I decided to give my hair a little Clairol #119 before showtime!

It took a lot of work....

but I totally achieved DIVA STAR status.

After the play everyone told me how perfect I was to play a DIVA. I was like...ummmmm.... gee.... thanks...I think.....

(I'm taking this as I'm a movie star and not a jerk, ignorance is bliss.)

I actually flubbed up a few lines, but Nova kept going (thank goodness).

Every Christmas play I get stuck in the side room before showtime.  The room is too small, too hot, and there are too many people.  The weird thing is I actually love it because I always get to know people from my church a little bit better. 

This year I got stuck in with several youth, the youth minister, his future wife the angel, and three little (gassy) clouds.  (No. really they were GASSY.)

I enjoyed my time laughing and bonding in that little room with everyone (minus the gas)!

The STARS:  

these little boys and girls were so amazing in telling the story of Christ Born!

They touched so many at such a young age.

My favorite part was the Christmas music at the end.

I love to hear children singing Christmas music.

The manger feeding area.

My little wise man and baby lamb.

My little lamb- so happy to be in a lamb costume (not).

'Glory Be to God!' -Angel

Don't Be Sickly

It started at about 1:30 on a Wednesday.  I was sitting at my desk chair watching the other teachers coral a room full of children and I couldn't move.  I mean I couldn't move.  I felt cold all over and weak. 
 All I could do was apologize.  
I felt terrible.  I think they all must have thought I ODed on the Skittles bag. 
I had to stay at my desk for a late meeting.  A mother had late college classes and I agreed to watch her son until she could make it.  Lucky for me, he is a seven year old artist and he created while I stayed in the same spot. frozen.  feeling like a big heap of crapola.

I told the team at the meeting-  I'm feeling bad.  Please stay back.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  (They used their own pens.)
After the (very long) hour long meeting, I germXed everyone and slowly walked to the van.  By the time I picked up the kids and went home I was hurting from head to toe.  
I stared at the clock and willed it to turn to the time Darren comes home.  I sent him a mental message:  drive fast.  Connor had a lot of hw.  Carlee was hungry.
All I could do was apologize.
This is not like me.  I have allergies.  I have colds.  I recover in 24 hours.  

Once Darren was home, he saw that I was burning up, shaking, and complaining every minute.  He helped me find PJs and he took care of everything (and continued the whole time I was sick).  
He did all the cleaning, the homework, the baths, the grocery store, the meds...he did it all. 
Ladies, a true love story is: not a man who gives you false rose poetry and gifts, but one who cares for you in a time of need. (plus I think he was afraid I was going to die and leave him with the children).

I went to the doc first thing in the morning.  No test were run.  Here is a Z- pack.  Good Bye.

24 hours later.
High fever, I can't swallow.  I can't eat. I can't sleep.  All I can do is cry.



I check my throat with a compact mirror and Toy Story flashlight while laying upside down on the bed (very medical).  Darren checks it too and is grossed out.
It. Is. Nasty.
We are talking runny blisters, white lines, red throat, swollen tonsils.
I have never been this sick.  
I go to the saturday clinic.  I am the last one.  Everyone is ready to go home.
This time they ran a flu test. (No Flu)  No one swabs my throat, but they comment that it it looks bad.
They bump up to a much stronger antibiotic.
24 hours later.
I am miserable.
I can't move.
I'm a baby.  A big ole' baby.
We have not bought ONE christmas present. Not one.  Not one.  (freaking out antics right here).
I can't sleep.  
I am so sick of scrolling Facebook I could die.  
Although at 2am I see a REALLY good deal on a gently used present I was thinking of for Connor.....
and it is sold! (high five to night owls!)

Night time TV..... just weird.

Really Weird....

I have been all over WebMD and I have diagnosed my self with:
peritonsillar abscess, mono with enlarged spleen, and meningitis.   I swear I'm having all the symptoms (I'm now an MD.)

Two Christmas practices missed.
Children's Church missed.
Connor's first ball game missed.
Hearing Impaired Workshop missed.
Homemade Christmas decorations missed.
My friend coming over to help with my Christmas costume missed.
My fourth day of work missed.
In twelve years of teaching, I have never missed four days over being sick.  
I'm thinking I'm going to be 'can't get out of bed sick' forever.

I call the doctor in a frantic and detail all the things I HAVE MISSED and all my WebMD self diagnosis.
(btw- they now think I'm crazy)
BUT I am prescribed a nice shot of Prednisone! 
That does the trick.  One dosage and I start to feel alive again.
I get another prescription.  The pharmacy guy calls me by my first name and asks me if I got to the homemade Christmas decorations.  

This experience has reminded me to NOT take advantage of my health. 

I know it is germ season but I can just about pinpoint the reasons I got sick.

1.  I overworked myself.  I got way tooooo tired.
I felt my responsibilities all piled on my shoulders around Thanksgiving.  I felt stressed and scared that I would let people down.
Days before I was sick my routine was to leave work late, cook dinner, homework, baths, and then start on schoolwork three hours, playing on the computer to calm my mind, falling into bed at midnight, only to wake up at 5:30am.   I was tired and miserable.

2.  I don't delegate.
I don't delegate as much as I should.  I take things on as my sole responsibility.  My mentality has always been- rely on yourself.  That spells trouble.  I can't do it all even if I want to.

3.  I didn't eat well at all.
I threw in the towel.  I have always been a stress eater and junk food junkie, but I do pride myself on meal planning and cooking decent meals, I bring salad lunches to school, and I drink a lot of water.  For the past two weeks, I filled myself with fast food, junk food, and frozen meals.  I guzzled soda and coffee for energy.  I ate crap and I felt like crap.

4.  I didn't wash my hands long enough.

The times that I have to go to the bathroom is never good timing, like right after I have called five autistic kinders to my back table to work.  I'm serious.  They are ready to work the routine baby, and they don't have time for me to do things like pee.  I go.  I run  warm water and soap quickly over my hands.  shake. shake.  annndd.... hey did you guys reconfigure my ipad again?

5.  too rushed....
In my rush to get Boy Scout snacks to A, play practice at B, baby to daddy at C ....  
I didn't wash off my desk at school, I didn't organize my day for more effectiveness, I didn't brush my teeth long enough, I stopped taking my AM vitamins, I didn't take the time to smell the roses.

I am convinced I allowed my body to wear down, get sick, and I see women do it all the time.
I was really hurting.  I have felt God telling me to stop for a while and I ignored this stirring in my heart, so in the long run I was worse off because I was too sick to do anybody any good.

Right now I am praying like mad.  
Carlee is coughing and Connor is warm.
I pray my children feel well and I ask you to pray with me.

One bright spot in my week is when Mrs. E. came back with a special card from my coworkers and students with a little gift. Every minute with Mrs. E. is awesome, but when she comes with gifts its double awesomeness. 

This made my day, reminding me that there are people that love me (even if my laundry is smelly and my deadlines are late)!

I warn you to, (unlike me), Be Safe, Be Healthy, and be (Health) Responsible.

Teacher's "Break"

I'm so sad that Thanksgiving break is almost over, I know Christmas break is around the corner, but that just means more work to place into a three week time span.  Most of my family and friends always comment to me:  'I bet you enjoy your break and time off as a teacher.'  
The answer is YES, I love being with my family more, but there is really never any "time off" for a teacher.  
Education has changed for the harder.  The workload is insane.  
My young second grader brought home a 15 page packet to study for a math midterm!?!?  When Darren saw my distraught look, he said he would help do it with Connor.  Connor??  Hard work isn't going to hurt my son (maybe my patience) but I feel for his poor teacher!  After all, she has to grade and review this packet with all those seven and eight year olds!  

A typical weekend or vacation involves me unloading my bags and spreading out my "things to do" over the dinner table or counter top and I just try to grab and work in between the cooking, cleaning, family time, outings, church, etc.  There are some days I would much rather nap or watch mindless reality TV or look at pictures of George Clooney (and sometimes I cave).  Actually right now I need to unload the dishwasher instead of doing this activity.
For now I haven't met an educator who has found the perfect balance.

An example of a teacher's "break":

completing a 10 page PBIS (positive behavior support) inventory due before December...

lucky my partner ensures I take a break for snacks...

registration and sub plans for a two day workshop training...

fixing eggs with a side of apple pie and a red crayon...

Yummy

updating my webpage...

 

taking care of the doggy ballerina and her new baby....

going through THREE huge notebooks of information to create a wiki...

time for  Maisy (500 times while the pages turn faster than I can read them)...

and creating an amazing makeover (more ice cream please)...

Facebook Check...

and back to work....

two invites and an IEP plan....

scanning in twenty documents for wiki (10 documents in the scanner quits for NO good rotten reason), unplug, replug, restart, unplug, hit the scanner, andddddd we are back in business....

..break for a drink...and a cool new hair style...

write a predictable text in smart notebook...

...create a phonics game for small group reading next week...

and time for birthday dinner (shameless selfies)

Thanks for rescuing me J.

I celebrate my birthday all month.

Hey, someone is stealing my shameless selfie pose...

finishing up with lesson plans and vocab. list for language development!

And what do you know...it's MONDAY morning.

Now there are other people (who I shall not name) who makes more money and doesn't do a bit of homework:

For years Darren thought I was just an overachiever, until his son started school...

I think his words to me this week were:

"why do you do this?  go get a job at McD's."

I'm a teacher honey, I can't help it.

What can I say? Behind every good teacher is a tired husband. 

The boys had a relaxing break.

Connor got to go to his FIRST college football game!

Go UNC! (they lost)

He was so excited.  Darren said he had a TOTAL meltdown over the fireworks after each touchdown, but Darren (being a man) handled it a little differently.  He told him to dry it up because they paid for the tickets.  I think by the end of the game Connor was "drying up his tears".  The poor fellow hates NOISE.

I asked Darren to take pictures.  He took five.  

Happy Holidays and remember this Christmas-

 Hug a Teacher 

(but like I tell my children and students 'don't lick and ask first').