All I could do was apologize.
I felt terrible. I think they all must have thought I ODed on the Skittles bag.
I had to stay at my desk for a late meeting. A mother had late college classes and I agreed to watch her son until she could make it. Lucky for me, he is a seven year old artist and he created while I stayed in the same spot. frozen. feeling like a big heap of crapola.
I told the team at the meeting- I'm feeling bad. Please stay back. I don't know what is wrong with me. (They used their own pens.)
After the (very long) hour long meeting, I germXed everyone and slowly walked to the van. By the time I picked up the kids and went home I was hurting from head to toe.
I stared at the clock and willed it to turn to the time Darren comes home. I sent him a mental message: drive fast. Connor had a lot of hw. Carlee was hungry.
All I could do was apologize.
This is not like me. I have allergies. I have colds. I recover in 24 hours.
Once Darren was home, he saw that I was burning up, shaking, and complaining every minute. He helped me find PJs and he took care of everything (and continued the whole time I was sick).
He did all the cleaning, the homework, the baths, the grocery store, the meds...he did it all.
Ladies, a true love story is: not a man who gives you false rose poetry and gifts, but one who cares for you in a time of need. (plus I think he was afraid I was going to die and leave him with the children).
I went to the doc first thing in the morning. No test were run. Here is a Z- pack. Good Bye.
24 hours later.
High fever, I can't swallow. I can't eat. I can't sleep. All I can do is cry.
I check my throat with a compact mirror and Toy Story flashlight while laying upside down on the bed (very medical). Darren checks it too and is grossed out.
It. Is. Nasty.
We are talking runny blisters, white lines, red throat, swollen tonsils.
I have never been this sick.
I go to the saturday clinic. I am the last one. Everyone is ready to go home.
This time they ran a flu test. (No Flu) No one swabs my throat, but they comment that it it looks bad.
They bump up to a much stronger antibiotic.
24 hours later.
I am miserable.
I can't move.
I'm a baby. A big ole' baby.
We have not bought ONE christmas present. Not one. Not one. (freaking out antics right here).
I can't sleep.
I am so sick of scrolling Facebook I could die.
Although at 2am I see a REALLY good deal on a gently used present I was thinking of for Connor.....
and it is sold! (high five to night owls!)
Night time TV..... just weird.
Really Weird....
I have been all over WebMD and I have diagnosed my self with:
peritonsillar abscess, mono with enlarged spleen, and meningitis. I swear I'm having all the symptoms (I'm now an MD.)
Two Christmas practices missed.
Children's Church missed.
Connor's first ball game missed.
Hearing Impaired Workshop missed.
Homemade Christmas decorations missed.
My friend coming over to help with my Christmas costume missed.
My fourth day of work missed.
In twelve years of teaching, I have never missed four days over being sick.
I'm thinking I'm going to be 'can't get out of bed sick' forever.
I call the doctor in a frantic and detail all the things I HAVE MISSED and all my WebMD self diagnosis.
(btw- they now think I'm crazy)
BUT I am prescribed a nice shot of Prednisone!
That does the trick. One dosage and I start to feel alive again.
I get another prescription. The pharmacy guy calls me by my first name and asks me if I got to the homemade Christmas decorations.
This experience has reminded me to NOT take advantage of my health.
I know it is germ season but I can just about pinpoint the reasons I got sick.
1. I overworked myself. I got way tooooo tired.
I felt my responsibilities all piled on my shoulders around Thanksgiving. I felt stressed and scared that I would let people down.
Days before I was sick my routine was to leave work late, cook dinner, homework, baths, and then start on schoolwork three hours, playing on the computer to calm my mind, falling into bed at midnight, only to wake up at 5:30am. I was tired and miserable.
2. I don't delegate.
I don't delegate as much as I should. I take things on as my sole responsibility. My mentality has always been- rely on yourself. That spells trouble. I can't do it all even if I want to.
3. I didn't eat well at all.
I threw in the towel. I have always been a stress eater and junk food junkie, but I do pride myself on meal planning and cooking decent meals, I bring salad lunches to school, and I drink a lot of water. For the past two weeks, I filled myself with fast food, junk food, and frozen meals. I guzzled soda and coffee for energy. I ate crap and I felt like crap.
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4. I didn't wash my hands long enough.
The times that I have to go to the bathroom is never good timing, like right after I have called five autistic kinders to my back table to work. I'm serious. They are ready to work the routine baby, and they don't have time for me to do things like pee. I go. I run warm water and soap quickly over my hands. shake. shake. annndd.... hey did you guys reconfigure my ipad again?
5. too rushed....
In my rush to get Boy Scout snacks to A, play practice at B, baby to daddy at C ....
I didn't wash off my desk at school, I didn't organize my day for more effectiveness, I didn't brush my teeth long enough, I stopped taking my AM vitamins, I didn't take the time to smell the roses.
I am convinced I allowed my body to wear down, get sick, and I see women do it all the time.
I was really hurting. I have felt God telling me to stop for a while and I ignored this stirring in my heart, so in the long run I was worse off because I was too sick to do anybody any good.
Right now I am praying like mad.
Carlee is coughing and Connor is warm.
I pray my children feel well and I ask you to pray with me.
One bright spot in my week is when Mrs. E. came back with a special card from my coworkers and students with a little gift. Every minute with Mrs. E. is awesome, but when she comes with gifts its double awesomeness.
This made my day, reminding me that there are people that love me (even if my laundry is smelly and my deadlines are late)!
I warn you to, (unlike me), Be Safe, Be Healthy, and be (Health) Responsible.
