In particular, there are things I never (ever) thought I would do for my boy child.
I never thought I would:
-cheer for someone named The Flash or Roman Reigns
-spend hours looking for events ending in the words: wrestling, truck, pull, snake
-make a rap video
-attend many events where teeth are limited and tattoos replace the need for a shirt
-spend an obscene amount of time to keep a pet lizard alive
-make a Ninja Warrior bike course
-make dinner while listening to a basketball hit the side of the house one million TIMES!
-spend hours writing stories for boys (about topic I know nothing about- football, dirt, monster jam) to get him to READ
-go anywhere in public with someone who looks like:
That is how it is when you are a parent. Your children expose you to cultures you never realized existed.
You love them so much one is willing to do many things to see their excitement for life.
Today we were off to the see Reptiles, so they could enjoy The Sechrist Show.
Do you want a pet boy?
Take me home to paradise city...
These vendors lead you to believe that there is little upkeep to reptiles, but DON'T believe it.
We owned a lizard once and it took an incredible amount of time to feed, heat, and take care of the little thing.
I'll take two in the form of boots please.
I appreciate the few vendors that took the time to answer questions and allow Connor to touch the reptiles.
Many others were rude and ignored him as he bounced up and down with excitement.
I know he is a hyperactive boy, but what other type of boy or girl show up to these things?!?
A lady in front of me bought a snake in a plastic cup with a lid and accidentally dropped it in front of my flip flop shoe.
I screamed "ACKkkkkkkkkk!!!" instead of S***. I thought I used great restraint.
She told me to calm down. I told her that was me being calm.
Turtle Ranglin' requires much skill.
Even more skill is needed for turtles that are this size.
The Big Show of Turtles
Connor told the people to be cautious because if this is a spitting cobra, we could all DIE immediately.
Thanks for the warning son.
If you want to know how much fun I had, please see the expressions of my daughter (a girl who has to immediately call in the National Guard Armory if a stink bug is found in her room).
I'm outta' here.
Isn't there a ballet convention somewhere around here?
There is only one reptile we like:
Carlee did enjoy two things:
the "Eas'er Bunnies" and the wooden handmade frogs.
If you run a stick across the back of the wooden frog, then they make a sound like a bull frog.
Carlee picked out a pink one, but told the lady that she could keep the stick for it.
I have no idea why they were selling sweet bunnies (while pythons surrounded us).
The man told us that bunnies "were easy pets".
(You know like "easy children".)
They were precious.
Connor begged and begged for a snake or lizard.
The closest thing I could allow were these two rubber pets.
I told Darren, the vendor specifically said these animals only eat warm Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Darren said we had no time for that,
so I made the hungry turtle stare him in the eye all the way home.
That was the show.
I hope the reptiles enjoyed us.