Thursday, September 19, 2013

F is for Fail (and D is for Doughnut)

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged.
There are good reasons for no blogging.
Life has been kind of “interesting” (*whispers while rocking 'I’m going crazy- interesting').
Not in a ‘big life, terrible event, stressful, depression event’ kind of way.
More like a ‘build up of daily situations that has made me think I’m better suited for singing the blues in a night club’ kind of way.

You know before each blog entry I often think to myself- ‘if my  adult children read my blog after I get way old, what will they think about this?’  What technology footprint am I leaving for my family (because the good Lord knows I’m not leaving any money)?

I'm beginning to get an idea of this whole adult child thing.  You see when I’m old-old and my children are adults, I will have figured things out, so then I can tell them what to do and make them feel inadequate.
But for right now they can refer to today’s entry:  Kids I’m having some EPIC FAILURE moments this week. That’s right. Again.

Oh believe me, I’ve read all the mommy blogs out there that say- you are enough, you do enough, you rock, you are awesome!  All the blogs that talk of self confidence, kicking self doubt to the curb, screaming WOMAN hear I roar, self love, no negativity.  I’m telling you that all those uplifting blogs sometimes make me feel worse because I don't always believe them.   Have it all?  how about Have a Seat (with Cheetos and tissues for tears).

Let me count the ways-

See this picture of the perfect classroom.  
It's a fake bunch of junk.
I bet those people are not even real 
(and who uses chalk)?

Do you ever feel like you've got the pieces, and everyone is looking to you to work the puzzle?  You are trying like heck to make those pieces fit, but then you realize you were looking at the picture upside down? no.  just me then?
F on Puzzle Working

Step 1:  place in bag
Step 2:  place more in a bag
Step 3:  place even more in a bag
Step 4:  where did I put that?
F for not having a bigger bag!

Only 1, 
I swear I am stopping at 3, 
where did all those go?
F for Resisting the D for Doughnuts.

My child's leg got stuck in a bed.  
I ignored her crying because I thought she didn't want to nap.
F for Quick Reponse

Double oops.

I am really sorry. :(

What is wrong with you?
I'm dropping you off on the side of the road in 3...2...
You can find another MOTHER!!!

F for Patience

Scriptures Memorized- 0
Fart Jokes Memorized- 100

F for Creative Motivation

Ending in you falling into the couch leg...
waking up with a swollen black eye.

F for Catching

If only you worked as hard at reading as you did at this:

I would be happy.
F for not reading while spinning.

Get away from me.
I don't trust this family.

F for Soothing

Hey sometimes you have to just admit failure moments.  A lot of them.  It is a little thing called REAL LIFE.  
People can’t handle failure anymore because we all think we can’t fail, we shouldn’t fail, we shouldn’t tell, and your not a good person if you do speak of failing, instead let’s talk about that other person who failed, don't say anything negative about your experience, your a bad person for speaking of difficult situations, etc.
You can fail over and over and that’s why you either eventually succeed or you change for a better direction.

So if my adult children are reading this- your "all knowing" mother had moments of failure, bad weeks, bad moments, mistakes were made (you remember you told your therapist all about it), words were shared that shouldn’t have been shared, but you still have to pick yourself up by your high heeled straps and move on with it anyway.  This is where I talk about my love and appreciation for you, but tonight appreciate me instead because LOVE is doing your laundry when my back hurts.  


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