Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Unwelcome Visitor

anxiety crept into my house uninvited last night

its spindly fingers wrapping itself around me
keeping my tired mind awake torturing me with what if
what if
what if
What if I made the wrong decision? What if my children make the wrong choices? What if there isn’t enough money? What if Darren gets sick? What if we are in a car wreck? What if the unemployed doesn't get better? What if the elders don't get their medicine? What if my students don’t meet their benchmarks? What if they are hungry or sad right now? What if I forget what I’m suppose to do? What if I get cancer? What if there is a serial killer stalking the house right now?  What if I’m going insane right now? What if my children rob banks for a living? What if we lose our jobs? What if I have complications while pregnant? What if I never find decent childcare? What if Connor is stolen? What IF, What IF, What IF???
anxiety and I perform this terrible show where the script is just one awful rerun
i try to think of all that is positive and good and nice and I pray
i drift off to sleep because the Anxiety has gone to bother some other innocent person
the alarm buzzes in my ear like a dynamite blast and it’s time to face the day
and I feel tired all over again

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