Right now I am relaxing to some Heavenly Hash and Entertainment Tonight! Chocolate is the New Martini! Oh my gosh, did I just create the next ‘don’t worry be happy’ slogan?? Anyway, just doing a little distressing from a week of good, hard work.
One thing I have really valued this week is Mrs. E, my classroom assistant. Mrs. E. is smart, creative, funny, and never misses the important details with children. We both like kids, see humor in life, and we make a good tag team. Imagine our surprise this week when we BOTH missed one of the most amazing, epic, mother nature events this side of the South…a 5.9 Earthquake!?!? Everyone was talking about the shaking, moving, and rattling! WE missed the earthquake (ok, really just a tremor)??? But, how, when, why, what, where? I couldn’t believe all the teachers, parents, and kids that were talking about this Earthquake and we didn’t even know it was happening. Mrs. E and I put our heads together and wondered how we missed it. Was it the music playing? Was my math that engaging? Are we just that unobservant?
Of course the more I think about it, the more I realize that even though we make a good team, sometimes when it comes to matters of quick thinking....we are not so good. Our motto- don't move our
cheese earth....just keep us on schedule and everything will be all right. It made me think about our very first Lockdown Procedure at school. (see below)
Step One- Move the kids.
OK kids we are playing a game, Hide From the Principal. She is looking for us and we have to be very, very quiet and hide in the back. BTW- make sure you tell children the game is over, because mid-afternoon we had children running AWAY from the principal for no good reason (other than they thought it was a game).
Step Two- Pull the blinds and cut the lights.
Oh Man…Why is the LEFT side of the blinds down and the right side staying up?? After a few minutes of tinkering with the blinds I forget it. I have to flip the lights, which doesn’t matter because the crazy blinds allow all kinds of LIGHT in the room. Where is Mrs. E?? (see step three)
Step Three- Check to make sure no children are standing outside your room.
I see Mrs. E, with two children following her OUTSIDE the room. No, no..pulling kids in. We are IN the room…IN the room. Mrs. E. turns in surprise. Our goal- Kids IN the room.
Step Four- post class number.
Finally I do something right! I slide the class number under the door.
Step Five- Lock the door.
Ok I just realized I slid the key with my class number OUTSIDE the door. Oops. I look to see if Mrs. E saw me do that...no she is trying to make the kids quiet by giving them SUGAR…from the Halloween candy bag. I open the door and get the key, and I am hoping the drill isn’t over and that no one noticed the glaringly shiny key OUTSIDE the door. Door now locked.
Step Six- Call the office.
I dial 202. Busy. I dial 202. Busy. I dial 202. Busy. I dial 202. Busy. I dial 202. Busy. ‘Mrs. E how are we suppose to call if it’s busy??’ Oh wait…202 is MY number. I DIAL the real office number and someone picks up...guess what? the drill is like totally over with!!
Mrs. E + me + unexpected changes (like the earth moving)= nothing goes according to plan. Just so you know, we immediately went to work on a better plan, and we have practiced and refined all procedure (so no one need worry). But PLEASE don’t ask how long it took on the fire drills.
So the point is…it’s probably best we missed the whole “earth shaking experience” because in our fear we would have probably made a bomb shelter out of glue sticks and construction paper hours after the quake was over.
I love you Mrs. E.!