Dreamer Part II

I had such an interesting dream last night (more of a nightmare), I had to write it down immediately because I haven't had a bad dream in a while.

For the past few weeks, I have been walking around like a zombie all day, but the second the clock hits 9pm, I am WIDE awake.  I don't want to go to sleep.  I toss and turn, and just lay awake.  I have been feeling good, plenty of Vitamin D, and little stress, so I really don't know why I can't sleep.  

Last night I took a sleeping pill.  I never take things to help me sleep because I am sensitive to medicine, and basically I am so tired by nightfall I don't need assistance.  

With the pill, I immediately feel into a deep sleep.  
I am so glad Darren was available, because if the children needed me, I don't think I would have been able to move.

I had a very vivid/bizarre dream. 

I was dining with my principal.  We were dining outside on what I considered to be this lovely veranda at a castle.  

Suddenly, this huge man jumps out to brutally attack me, and I black out (pass out) immediately.  When I wake up my principal is standing over me holding a gun.  I have no memory of what happened.  I feel a cord wrapped around my neck, and I pull it off (it is specifically my apple charger to my computer covered in blood, and my iPad near by is laying near me covered in blood).  My principal said she shot at the man, but he got away.  I looked around (on the castle/veranda) and a window was shot out with glass everywhere. (I don't know why he didn't just jump off the veranda but went inside the house?)  
I felt fear that he was coming back.  Then my principal said I was "brutally attacked", but I told her I didn’t want to know what happened to me because I couldn’t remember anything, and "I like not knowing anything bad".  

That is all I remember.  

I was actually shaken up when I woke up. I think it was interesting because it was so far away from any scenario that has ever happened to me. 
My Aunt T. has always told me that dreams are important, and that we should really pay attention to them.  My dreams have always told me things.  When I was younger I even had a dream journal, and a book about dreams.  

Today I looked up all the key events/symbols.

To Dream:

Attack

To dream that you are being attacked by someone indicates your character is being questioned. You feel the need to defend yourself. You are feeling stressed, vulnerable and helpless. You may also be facing difficult changes in your waking life. Dreaming of an attack provides a way for you to confront these situations that you may be avoiding in real life

I constantly feel the need to defend myself in all areas of life.  I even question my own decisions instead of trusting myself.  Sadly, there are always people (in all areas) who question who you are and why you do what you do.

Blood

To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Some of your past actions have come back to haunt you. Such dreams are also a reminder to take things slow. If blood is squirting everywhere, then the dream implies that you are experiencing some deep emotional stress. You are literally bursting.�

What are some things that have drained my emotions?  

Finances, upcoming work list, carlee did in fact get sick this week, church, dieting, managing...  

emotions are complicated.

Veranda 
To dream of being on a veranda indicates that you will successfully overcome a problem that was giving you much anxiety. Alternatively, the dream represents your outlook in life.

I like the sound of that.  Successfully Overcome.

Castle 
To see a castle in your dream signifies reward, honor, recognition, and praise for your achievements. You are destined to a position of power, wealth, and prestige. Alternatively, the dream indicates your desire to escape from life's daily problems.

I've been doing a study on false idols.  I can admit that I often worship praise.  I want my family, friends, boss, parents, children to recognize all of my hard work even if it means I have to prove it by being exhausted and "emotionally drained".  Praise means I am a good person.  Praise means I am doing the right thing.  Praise means I am not insecure in the moment.  (Happiness must be being secure in how you are created without praise.)

Boss 
To see your boss in your dream represents the bossy or authoritative side of your own personality. Your boss may reveal self-confidence and the assertive aspect of yourself. It is telling of your issues of control and authority. Alternatively, to see your boss in your dream may indicate your over-involvement or obsession with your work. Negatively, the boss in your dream may symbolize your limitations and lack of freedom/originality.

I'm pretty bossy, and I definitely am involved at work, especially since all educators have been in the news daily with more bad news from our legislation.

Broken Windows 
To see a shattered and broken window in your dream represents your distorted view and outlook on life. It is also indicates a state of vulnerability.

This is good.  Nothing is ever as bad as my imagination.  My thoughts manifest itself until I have a full blown problem that doesn't even exists- distorted view.

Meals/ Dinner
To see meals in your dream suggest that you are dwelling too much on trivial matters, causing your attention to be diverted from important issues. Alternatively, you may be lacking spiritual enrichment.

Dwelling too much on trivial matters? me? never!

Blackout 
To dream that there is a blackout indicates your lack of insight and perspective on a situation. You may be feeling frustrated or experiencing failure in some work that you are attempting. The blackout may also symbolize ignorance, the subconscious, evil, death, or fear of the unknown.

Anxiety can be a direct result of ignorance disguised as truth.

Gun 
To see a gun in your dream represents aggression, anger, and potential danger. You could be on the defensive about something. Or you may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence. Alternatively, a gun is a symbol of power and pride. Perhaps you are looking for shelter or protection in your dream. 

I am most likely seeking approval/protection/guidance at work.  At least, my principal didn't shoot me- which is a great sign- right???

Killer 
To see a killer in your dream suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.

I think this could apply to anyone who is a caregiver through children, their own parents, teaching, etc.  We all try to manage life while retaining a sense of self.

IPad 
To see an iPad in your dream represents modern life and your connections with others. It also suggests that you want to put something on display. Consider the significance of what you are doing on the iPad and how that parallels an aspect of your waking life.

 Me? put something on display, like on twitter, facebook, blogger??  never.

This could also represent another idol in my life. The ipad was splattered with blood, the computer cord was chocking me...not good signs.

(Of course, I did just take two technology courses...back to work anxiety?)

Fear 
To dream that you feel fear indicates that your achievements will not be as successful as you had anticipated. You are experiencing anxieties in various aspects of your life. The key to overcoming your fear is to discuss them and deal with them openly.

To dream that you worse fears are coming true signifies your resistance to change. You are afraid to confront the unknown aspects of yourself.

"Resistant to Change"?  Yes.  Worried about my achievements? YESSSSSSSSS.

Life Saver 
To see or wear a life saver in your dream suggests that you are getting another opportunity or chance. Take advantage of the opportunity before it slips away. Alternatively, a life saver symbolizes wholeness and completeness. The dream may also be a metaphor for someone who has saved you from a jam or difficult situation

For me every new school year represents a new beginning, and a new opportunity.

See we SHOULD pay attention to our dreams.  I just saved myself a ton of money on therapy!

Dreams tell us a lot about our deep rooted anxieties.  I think we all have anxieties- money, work, having a second grader (weep), a baby, Faith, leading, friendships, and the list goes on for all of us.  Then we feel guilty for feeling so worried about things we shouldn't feel worry about causing more worry.

These are the things keeping me awake.  I think when I expressed 'I don't want to know anything bad' just goes to show, that I have been avoiding things and personal responsibility.

Its just time to deal with them head on, and hope like heck that tonight I dream about George Clooney and a hot fudge cake.

Dreamer

Last night I had another reoccurring dream that I went to the hospital all by myself and suddenly had an ultrasound because I was pregnant!? A very friendly and kind African American nurse took care of me and gave me the ultrasound.  I was very focused on the ultrasound when all of a sudden I delivered a baby!  No pain, no meds, no assistance.  I marveled at how good the nurse was and how she just took care of everything.  I kept my eyes focused on the ultrasound wondering if I had a boy or a girl (no clue why i didn’t just look at the baby).  

Meanwhile the nurse had the actual baby, taking care of it.  I expressed how worried I was that we had three children now and that I would never be able to take care care of three!  Oh please Lord let it be a girl so that she can share with Carlee.  The kind nurse just comforted me and told me all would be ok.  I finally looked at the baby and it was a girl!  I was very happy that the baby was a girl and could share a room with Carlee, and I wondered how my family was going to react to me bringing home a baby.

My aunt use to tell me all the time that dreams were from God and that they were telling you things.  She use to tell me to look for symbols and numbers and things that are guiding you.  I always thought she was Coo Coo crazy.  But then as I got older I really started to see my dreams telling me things.  I looked up some things about my dream-

-To see a baby in your dream signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings.  If you dream that you forgot you had a baby (or in my case forgot I was pregnant), then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; you do not want to let others know of your weaknesses.

Alternatively, forgetting about a baby represents an aspect of yourself that you have abandoned or put aside due to life's changing circumstances (story of a parent's life).

-To see a nurse in your dream means that you need to take time out in order to heal, mentally, physically and spiritually (word).

-To dream that you are getting an ultrasound signifies a new and developing phase in your life. Perhaps you are starting a new relationship, switching jobs or relocating (or in my case perhaps I have two children now and a relocation at work).

I also think that nurse represented a mother figure I don’t have- someone who is always there to comfort and take care of me without pain.

and I think my increasing worries about money, parenting, are reoccurring themes also.  

Basically, I think my dreams are telling me to CHILL OUT WOMAN and allow for a natural adjustment in life, but I'm sure there is someone out there that has a better take on the issue.  (Really, I should be a dream psychologist.)

I turned to the Big Guy-  

I read several versions of scriptures but The Message read:  

so this is what I want you to do, God is helping you take your everyday, ordinary life, your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life and place it before God as an offering.  Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him...unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down......God brings the best out of you (Romans 12: 1-2).

Good stuff.  Maybe if I follow this tomorrow I'll dream of George Clooney.