Thursday, April 10, 2014

This ain't Dick and Jane: WWE Readers #1

Is this a dream?
“What is going on?” said B.
This can’t be REAL!  
We were on WWE!!

magic rock

Maybe I shouldn’t have made fun of that “magic rock” under the tree branch
The legend at BT is there is a purple rock that is magic.  
If you find it, it will make wishes come true!
My friend B. found a rock today to show me.
It must be real.

Then we heard creepy music.
Oh!  My!

“ummm. Is that the Wyatt family?”  my friend asked.
He looked scared.
I looked down the ramp.
The WWE lights were as bright as the sun.
We were on RAW!
The song Beat It (changed to Beat Em) played.
It boomed from the speakers.

It was the real thing and the Wyatt Family looked MAD.
B. and I took one look at each other.
“Let’s do this!” we both shouted.
We were a team.  We had work to do.

“Announcing, THE ATTITUDE ERA”, said Jerry the King Lawler, “I have heard these guys are amazing!”
“I hope the Wyatt family makes them pay!” shouted Michael Cole.
“Dude, shut your pie hole” said Jerry.

We  slapped high five to the fans on the side.
We walked down the ramp showing our muscles.
They were all chanting-  B.! Connor!

This was great.

The music stopped.
Uh!  Oh!
We were on our own.
The Creepy Lamb mask was coming for us!
No more child’s play.
We had to Eat, Sleep, and Conquer.

I jumped into the square circle in one move.
B. hopped over the ropes.  
He had light up wrestling tights!
It was too funny.

Then, Bray, Luke, and Eric were fighting us.
I was scared for my life!

“Lookout!”  said my tag team partner.
Bray Wyatt was trying to do the Sister Abigail.
He was going in for the kiss.....
I went below his head.
He missed me.

B. came up behind Bray and kicked him out from under his legs.
He fell.
Then I had to tell him to watch out.
B. looked up to see Luke Wyatt grab him.  
I climbed to the top of the turn buckles.
On the inside I did a high jump right on Luke!!!!

The crowd went crazy.
It was awesome.

From the left corner, I saw the lamb mask coming at me!
I got low before the next hit.

I had no choice but to do an elbow smash, crushing Erick Rowan’s mask.
“Hey that cost big dollars!” said Erick.
“You can send the bill to Vince McMahon, loser!”

Attitude Adjustment RULES!
I could not wait to tell my class about this event.

Soon I heard the music to Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.

Oh Boy this was going to be a long night.
Paul Heyman started to run his mouth.
I gave him the elbow smash!
He got quiet.

All of a sudden, I saw my partner with his hand bent back!
Brock Lesnar was trying to break his arm.
That was one big jerk.

Stop!  Get off my partner!  I am going to squeeze your head like a ball python!” I shouted.

I was on my way to save him.
Then the Wyatt family grabbed me in a choke hold.
3 against 1.
This was low down dirty.

We could not run for cover!!!

We were going to die.
THEN, we heard Cult of Personality music!

NO way.
CM Punk came back to the WWE for us.

The fans chanted  “Attitude ERA!”
B. turned on his light up wrestling tights.
so funny
The fans cheered.

CM Punk ran out.
He jumped into the ring and got Bray Wyatt on the ropes.
He knocked out two brothers with the Pepsi Plunge!

It was a great move, but B. and I had a better one.
We linked arms, 
bounced off the ropes, 
and high kicked two at one time!  
The best finishing move 
.....the Badtitude Bash!

We did it!  
We were the most important tag team champs of all time!
It was so awesome.

Now we have to go home.
Remember this rule:  
Always Beware of Magic Rocks (and the Figure Four).


  1. You need to submit this as a manuscript to WWE, maybe you can start a series of WWE themed children's books :)

  2. oh my goodness, that means a lot to me coming from you Melissa! I just pray that it gets c reading.