Happy Aniversary

This week is my Anniversary! Speaking of marriage....I really think this is what some people think marriage is all about:

Which may explain the divorce rate in this nation.  (Speaking of this book cover- the woman has all that material in her dress and she didn't have enough to cover her "heaving" chest!  What about the mustache and mullet on that dude?? Doesn't it just scream ex-CON.  Listen to me ladies- Never trust a man in that outfit.  Especially with a mullet and that outfit! haaaaaa.) Sorry. Back to the Subject.
Real people know marriage is work, commitment, and it doesn’t always mean making out on a tree like the above people (you know what I mean).  True Marriage is about love, sharing dreams, and mainly figuring out life together, as clueless as you may be.  

With God and each other- Darren and I have built a home and family.  I think we are Blessed!  Looking back I think I had the sweetest Cinderella themed wedding eight years ago.  It was small but very special to me.

Marriage has taught me that a true Prince Charming doesn’t just place the shoe and rescue the princess (as if).  A true Prince Charming makes you laugh when your so angry you are about to karate chop your "prince" in the head, he shares a large order of fries because your checkbook doesn’t allow for a steak dinner, is a good son to his mother, plays World Wrestling with his son so you can finish the last chapter in that great book, he says your pretty even if you gained fifty plus pounds, tells you how talented you are when you have reached a milestone, and unloads the dishwasher when you bring in three bags of work from home! 

And most important you still look great in a pair of jeans, but don't get a big head please.

Happy Anniversary PAL!

Sales Girl Experience

There I was lying on the couch in my pajamas at 2:00 in the afternoon.  The house looked like a tornado.  C. is wearing a pair of old shorts playing in the middle of the floor.  I’m right in the middle of a great read…the love story between Harper and Nick.  There is a knock at the door.  Crap.  Who is it? I’ve not brushed my teeth yet!  I open the door and immediately I can tell it’s a salesgirl.  Small, cute, blond and trained perfectly to sale…I got a cue when I opened the door and she pretended to stare into the blue sky.  She turns around in surprise as if she had no idea she just knocked on my door.

Salesgirl: well hello, I’m just visiting the homes of my fellow Christians.

My thought: My name is on a secret fellow Christian list??

Connor:  Do you remember the Macho Man?  He’s got them cool glasses.

Salesgirl: who?

Me: Never mind him.  How can I help you?

Salesgirl: Can I step in for a moment?

My thought:  and see my house?? Heck no.

Me:  Well we were just on our way to grandma’s house.

My thought:   I am such a liar. 

Connor: Hey you want to see me do a cool arm fart??  (Proceeds to arm fart.)

- We step outside.

Me:  Connor go play.

Salesgirl:  I just want to take a few moments to talk to you about some great literature.  How much time do you spend in the Bible with your family?

My thought: Don’t you understand I’m about to find out if Nick and Harper are getting back together and she is about to find her estranged mother after 16 years!?!?

Me:  Everyday.

My thought:  God forgive me.  It’s freaking’ hot out here.

Connor:  Whooooo!  Hey, watch me swing! Watch me swing!

Salesgirl:  WOW!  That is so awesome, everyday!? You must be an amazing mother to study the Bible everyday.  

My thought:   yes, I can tell you believe that by the way Connor is screaming “I’m going to take you down you!” while hanging upside down from the monkey bars.

Me:  Well I try.

My thoughts:  God I will try harder if you get me out of this.

Salesgirl proceeds to call all the names out that have bought this grand product!  People from my church, school, and neighborhood.

Me:  I don’t know any of those people and I'm not going to buy what your selling just because others did.  Show me what it is.

Salesgirl:  Amanda (she got my name earlier, she doesn’t forget a name)…how would you like to improve Connor’s life through the word of God? How would you like to apply meaning like never before to your family?

Me: ummmm…sounds great. 

My thoughts:  I’m melting…what is it 1000 degrees?  What would she do if I said, ‘heck no, we study wrestlan’ in this home.’

Salesgirl:   I have a product that is so amazing you are going to become closer to God, improve you memory of scriptures, and teach Connor like never before. 

 

Me: Ok, sounds great.

Salesgirl:  Now does your husband allow you to do the purchasing?

Me:  Only when he unchains me from the basement on Tuesdays.

Salesgirl: ha. Ha.

Salesgirl: This product has been bought by (reads all the names, AGAIN) and these parents are so excited by teaching their child through this amazing product.

Connor:  Rock n’ Roll for LIFE! Whoooo. Hooooo.   Watch me turn a flip.  Do you know Bret the Hitman Hart??

My thought:   Maybe I DO need to buy what she is selling.

Me:  ummm….you seem like a really nice girl, but can you just show me this product already and give me the price?

Salesgirl:  (smiling politely) the great thing is this product sales like crazy because it is so affordable.  Can you read this scripture for me?

- I read out of Exodus (about Moses and the Ten Commandments).  There I am reading scriptures in 99 degree heat in pajamas thinking about Harper and Nick and air condition.  Meanwhile, Connor is singing the Star Spangled Banner followed by Let’s Go Racing Boys!

Salesgirl:  So were you able to apply meaning to what you just read?

Me: ummm. Yes. Don’t tick God off.

Salesgirl:  Could Connor apply meaning?

Me:  Yes

Salesgirl: really?

Me:  Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration.  Can I see the product?

Salesgirl: You are funny.

-she opens the suitcase and pulls out a leather-bound book of bible stories (about like the 7 other bible book stories in my house now).  She begins to read to me the story of Moses.

Salesgirl: What do you think about this?

Me:  ummmm… it’s great.  Connor stop riding the dog!  What is the price?

Salesgirl: I was getting to that.  Unlike many plans where you have to pay shipping and handling, internet fees, and pay for labor…this product you get right away for an affordable price.  You can start a layaway program or pay up front?

Me:  What’s the price?

Salesgirl:  193.00

Me:  193 dollars for three books!?!?  I thought God’s gifts were free?  Does it come with a golden Jesus statue??

Salesgirl:   do you want me to show Connor??

Me:  ummm no.  My husband definitely won’t approve of him making the financial decisions.  Thank you so much, but our family can’t afford this.

Salesgirl: but think about all the great family time you could create with this.

Me:  We did that last night over WWE Monday Night Raw.  Ha. Ha. I’m kidding.  Your right, studying the Bible should be of first concern for my family, but I don’t think we need to pay 200.00 to make that a priority.

Salesgirl:   Thank you for your time, your son is delightful.  Good Bye!

Me: (a little loudly) Connor let’s get ready for grandmas!

Connor:  We’re going to grandmas today! Yipee!!

After Salesgirl leaves.

Me:  Ummm. We are Friday, I meant pick out what you want to wear for Friday.

Connor:  I’m going to wear my underwear and wrestling boots.

Me:  Let’s read a bible story.

I'm Brilliant!

We continue to review our letters and sounds at my house.  I take about five to ten minutes a day.  Right now I'm focused on letter identification only for lowercase.  I introduce a few at a time.
Imagine my excitement this week when Connor begged me to do the letters with him!  Really he brought the bag of letters to me!  Wait a minute, this little guy may really enjoy kindergarten.  The past few weeks he has really picked up on what I've been trying to show him all summer, so much so we have started with number identification too!  We watched PBS yesterday and he was able to call out many of the letters and he was proud of himself.  Hallelujah- it seems like we have been doing this forever.  One thing parenthood has taught me; you can NOT force a kid to do something they are not ready to do.  My dad would say I'm too "soft", but believe me knowing when to push and knowing when to hold is a difficult thing to do.

But enough about what Connor can do, what about me?  At the start of the summer I bought a cheap pack of lower/upper case letters with a matching phonetic picture on the back.  In my pack of letter cards, guess what was missing??  The letter 't'.  Instead the pack contained two letter 'i's.  So what did I do (because I'm too lazy to go back to the store)?  I got creative baby.  I turned the 'i' to the 't'.

Then I put a straw on the top of the 't' because C's favorite drink is sweet tea!
Flip over the back and what did I do?  HA- letter cards.  I turned the picture of the ink bottle (for i) into a sweet tea drink (for t). It's SOUTHERN sweet tea.  (I'm not sure why I made black bubbles off the side...I think I just invented carbonated sweet tea).  I think I also invented some kind of REDNECK version of Letterland.

I know, I know... you don't have to tell me...I'm not only BRILLIANT, I'm resourceful!

:)

A Visit from the Stork

1.1.05

"I can’t believe it’s year 2005!  I just got use to 2004.  This year will be the most special of all because I learned 4 days ago I’m pregnant! (Talk about a life changing moment).  I am very excited.  Today I have been cleaning closets to get ready for you and I’m only four weeks.  I’ve already called four daycares about openings.  I’m very worried that something might happen but I am going to push that to the side.  Meanwhile, your father is worrying about money (don’t worry you’ll get use to it!)  The rest of the family is very excited about your arrival.  I am both nervous and excited about this unexpected journey.”

The above was my first journal entry when I found out I was pregnant with Connor, and boy was I CLUELESS about the challenges ahead…I was clueless about how hard it would be and about how wonderful it would be. 

Here I am again!  I found out I am about 5 weeks pregnant with child #2!!! Oh My Gosh…that sounds strange.  Everyone knows I can barely remember where I put my keys.  But I know that God would not give me this gift if He didn’t believe I could do it.  

Currently, the whole family is excited like in my first journal entry. I can tell you I’m not cleaning out any closets or calling daycares.  I’ve been through this song and dance before and I know that stressing out and trying to plan every single detail is like a cat chasing its tail.  Of course not much has changed with Darren; I think I heard him having an intimate talk with the checkbook last night.  He is certain we are now doomed to live in a paper box.   

Anytime I feel myself getting afraid or nervous I pray about it…..it’s a tried and true technique people!!  It comforts me, because this is probably the last time I will be pregnant and I want to enjoy it.

Philippians 4:6-7
don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT)

No one is more excited than Connor!  He talks about it often, asking me lots of questions.  (Can I tell you a secret- it’s a great discipline technique.  'If your going to be a big brother you have to set an example, you have to brush your teeth, you have to open the car door for mom', etc. etc.)  Of course this is Connor, so he thinks the baby will be here next week. 

One thing is certain, gone are the days when I had the house to myself as a pregnant women.  Good bye nap times, good bye to quiet book reading, and good bye to long bubble baths.  Now I have a little boy watching everything.  This morning I started watching Baby Story on TLC and it didn’t take long for me to decide I better turn it before C. got more educated than needed….his journal entries are already going to be colorful enough at school.  After lunch I let him look through a Pregnancy Week by Week book.  I swear  I previewed the whole thing…there are apparently pictures on the flip side I forgot about.  I didn’t think much of it until I heard him laughing hysterically at a picture of a buck naked pregnant woman (don’t worry that book is now on the top shelf).   Who poses naked at 9 months pregnant??   Really I know what my parts look like, I don’t need a diagram.  Geez Wheez.

Meanwhile, I hope that you all will think of me in your own prayers because between this and kindergarten I’ll need lot's of Divine Intervention!:) 

Connor's First Pictures

It's all in the name......

Tonight the Sechrist family went to the grocery store, and I was happy because no one was hurt or broke anything.  As typical, certain products started to catch Connor's eye and he started to beg for these "must haves".  This started dad's job of 'no, no, no, put it back, no'.  Of course they place these products at perfect eye level of young children so they are able to snatch it up and torture parents.  It's a CONSPIRACY!  I'm PRETTY sure no adults are going to buy the following:

If this drink was the best tasting thing in the WORLD, I still couldn't bring myself to drink something called Chubby. "Hey Girl, what are you drinking?  Chubby. ummmm, should you be drinking that?" (I have a fear of that happening to me OK).   CHUBBY, really?  Are we not even hiding the fact that the food industry is helping aid in childhood obesity anymore?? (something also tells me this is probably exact to the drug 'speed' for kids)

Oh YUMMY.  Here Connor my sweet boy..do you want some animal cocoa droppings??  TASTY!  I can tell you I am NEVER picky about my chocolate..but even I can't eat little brown balls called Cocoa Drops!?!

As I was writing this blog, I got curious to see what the worst product names might be...and this is what I found (sue me...I like to crack  myself up, ok) these are the rated G:

This is for the cold from hell.

mmmmmmm.  pee cola.... refreshing!

I guess I would drink it if I were really, really really, really, thirsty.

Fart Juice!?! In a green bottle?

Weight Loss Supplement pronounced AIDS.

Romans 12:12

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

 

Today was a great day at church.  We had an intimate group in Sunday School, and we chatted about childbirth and our reaction to change (the childbirth discussion was an add on).   It seems someone in our Sunday school class has been pregnant for the past several years.  I know for me major changes in my life can be really hard.  I know God had been instilling more patience in me for a long time.  I'm all like 'but God I want to know when, where, and why?  I want to know all the details of the impending future.  Waiting is soooo hard for me.  Just tell me where this is going, Ok BIG GUY!?'  Of course, we know that this is not life.
 Really to watch God take an impossible situation and make it possible is a pretty incredible testimony.  He has lead me where I never thought I could, and He has given me more than I know I ever deserve.  I know that God continues to change and mold me, and I pray to release control and just enjoy this life.
I also had Children’s Church today.  Our youth minister is leading a team to Honduras for mission work- I think it will be an incredible experience for all.  These children always crack me up!  Today all the girls were all sitting to one side all prim and proper…saying the right things at the right times.  The boys were as WILD as could be…tossing a hat across the room, scrambling to get it, and then finding something else to argue about.  I had to threaten to take the sugar cookies away.  The most interesting thing is that the boys are always wild, but they always do the best job of retelling the story and giving insight.  This confirms what I know- boys are smart but they really need movement and action. 
Soooo we took the party outside with the big parachute.

The premise of the game was to shout bible scriptures and run underneath…but it ended up being just shouting, surviving, and me praying.  Wildness is a sign that school needs to start soon, but it was fun.
After church, my family headed to the Mayflower for some tasty FRIED shrimp.  It was so very good, and then we went to the mall where I scored these three totally RAD headbands at Rue 21 (guess how much they cost?  19.99? noooo.  15.55?  nooooo.  1.00 Each!!!!!).   

                                                    
Though I’m not sure where I’m going to wear the white feather headband with fake diamonds.  If needed, I’ll wear it with my peach high heels when I vacuum the living room...it will make me feel more glamorous.

Connor made a wish in the wishing circle at the mall; he wished for a race car.  Of course he actually scored a new match box race car on discount about 30 minutes later.  Darren said last night at the race C. was WILD.  He said when you have to threaten to spank at the race track of all places you know it’s BAD...he was more crazy and loud than the race cars and drivers!  I think he may need to enter a structured environment soon.  We have been enjoying the summer way too much.
On the other hand, I have been trying to teach him his lower case letter names.  You should see me making up stories to have him remember those letters, Mr. w is a wrestler who makes a gangster peace sign like this-,

Mr. p likes to pee-

Mr. i..attacks with his evil eye- 


I know I'm making his future therapist rich, but I swear its the only way to get his interest.  It is taking him forever to learn these; especially when he would rather be jumping around like a caffeine induced monkey.  I have to remember, even though I want to know the future- all of C.'s challenges and experiences in kindergarten- we are on God’s time and that things will happen when they are suppose to happen (even if its sooooo hard to be patience).

Channel Surfing

It’s Saturday Night and Darren and Connor are off to bond at the racetrack.  Most every Saturday night they spend quality father/son time...but sometimes C. gets so latched to me he doesn’t want to go.  So this morning I bought him some way cool noise cancellation head phones, and he couldn’t WAIT to try them out at the racetrack!  (Oh Yeah I’m that Good).   

D. repeatedly asked ‘are you sure you don’t want to go? Yes, yes…I don’t want to take from quality MAN time.  As much as I LOVE being alone…the second they left I was bored.  I have a good book I’m in the middle of, I could finish my Sunday School lesson, I could mop the floor,  I could go for a walk,  I could write the next great American novel……but instead I just laid on the couch, completely UNMOTIVATED.  I really wanted to eat the ice cream in the freezer (you know the ice cream my very lean husband bought and eats about ½ cup a week.  Who does that!?)  But I told myself ‘No’, I worked out hard this morning…I am not eating ice cream.  Still, I could not MOVE off the couch. 

This is pretty much my channel flipping history; I guess major networks assume that people go OUT like Johnny Travolta on a Saturday night:

SYFY ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’:  I’m sorry I don’t buy 'Even Stevens'’ (Shia LeBeouf) as the new Indiana Jones…moving right along.

CNBC ‘Princess’:  (where rich brats are reformed through a financial adviser):  Direct quote from Father- “She just breaks that credit card out and doesn’t care what she spends..she was born spoiled”.  Let me think about this one…YOU are the Father…TAKE THE CREDIT CARD AWAY and teach some financial responsibility.  I can’t watch this, it annoys me.

I could use some ice-cream…no, no, no. Don’t think about it..skip over the Food Network.

A&E ‘Hoarders’:  I’m going to GAG looking at the toilet in that house….I’m serious how do you eat at that table??..I’m going to GAG again…I know you want to change your life on this show, but I can’t watch this anymore.

BET ‘Music Awards’:  So Cool Steve Harvey won an award, and he THANKED God and his mama who took him to church! I don’t know any of these singers, where is Beyonce?  Moving on….

TBS ‘The Wedding Planner’:  I’ve seen this before….Yeah Right..noooo way is J-LO single and lonely. 

Why the heck isn’t anyone on Facebook?  Geez am I the ONLY one bored.

Still thinking about ice-cream in the freezer.

NBC ‘Dateline Real Life Mysteries’:  YIKES, the music is scaring me.  Have I seen that guy before?  This show is making me think there is a masked man outside my window NOW..turning channel, turning channel…..

Shop Network ‘Sexy Swimsuits’:  …haaaaaaaaa.  Underwear is less revealing.  What else is on?

Discovery Health ‘Untold Stories of the ER’:  …GROOOOSSSSSSSS ME OUT.

Well I don’t want ice-cream now. 

Lifetime for Women ‘Fatal Lessons- The Good Teacher’:  Drama about a teacher? Noooo thanks.

I’m sure there are people on Facebook now? Great, no one.

E! ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’:  SO SICK OF THE KARDASHIANS…good grief E! just change your name to the Kardashian channel.  Where is the E! True Hollywood Story on Guns N' Roses??

Showtime- ‘New Moon/ Twilight’:  Oh for goodness sake…quit pining over a dead guy and go to college!  Way to go Bella you just set woman kind back 10 years by crying over a boy the whole movie.

I’ll just buy a movie on my DVR, but first I’m getting some ice cream. 

Beastly….Is this for age 13 and under?  This dialogue bites…and I think the whole point is that it’s the inside that counts, not the outside?  Unless you’re an actor…then nobody cares about your insides, but you do have to know how to ACT in a movie ( I think).

Well I wasted my whole night doing NOTHING.  I did manage to pluck my eyebrows, but I don’t think you should pluck when channel surfing….I  look like this now! (Maybe I’ll start a new trend).  

Now the crew is home, so I splashed some soap suds on my face to make it look like I was scrubbing the bathtub, being so busy as normal.  :)