"I can’t believe it’s year 2005! I just got use to 2004. This year will be the most special of all because I learned 4 days ago I’m pregnant! (Talk about a life changing moment). I am very excited. Today I have been cleaning closets to get ready for you and I’m only four weeks. I’ve already called four daycares about openings. I’m very worried that something might happen but I am going to push that to the side. Meanwhile, your father is worrying about money (don’t worry you’ll get use to it!) The rest of the family is very excited about your arrival. I am both nervous and excited about this unexpected journey.”
The above was my first journal entry when I found out I was pregnant with Connor, and boy was I CLUELESS about the challenges ahead…I was clueless about how hard it would be and about how wonderful it would be.
Here I am again! I found out I am about 5 weeks pregnant with child #2!!! Oh My Gosh…that sounds strange. Everyone knows I can barely remember where I put my keys. But I know that God would not give me this gift if He didn’t believe I could do it.
Currently, the whole family is excited like in my first journal entry. I can tell you I’m not cleaning out any closets or calling daycares. I’ve been through this song and dance before and I know that stressing out and trying to plan every single detail is like a cat chasing its tail. Of course not much has changed with Darren; I think I heard him having an intimate talk with the checkbook last night. He is certain we are now doomed to live in a paper box.
Anytime I feel myself getting afraid or nervous I pray about it…..it’s a tried and true technique people!! It comforts me, because this is probably the last time I will be pregnant and I want to enjoy it.
Philippians 4:6-7
don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT)
No one is more excited than Connor! He talks about it often, asking me lots of questions. (Can I tell you a secret- it’s a great discipline technique. 'If your going to be a big brother you have to set an example, you have to brush your teeth, you have to open the car door for mom', etc. etc.) Of course this is Connor, so he thinks the baby will be here next week.
One thing is certain, gone are the days when I had the house to myself as a pregnant women. Good bye nap times, good bye to quiet book reading, and good bye to long bubble baths. Now I have a little boy watching everything. This morning I started watching Baby Story on TLC and it didn’t take long for me to decide I better turn it before C. got more educated than needed….his journal entries are already going to be colorful enough at school. After lunch I let him look through a Pregnancy Week by Week book. I swear I previewed the whole thing…there are apparently pictures on the flip side I forgot about. I didn’t think much of it until I heard him laughing hysterically at a picture of a buck naked pregnant woman (don’t worry that book is now on the top shelf). Who poses naked at 9 months pregnant?? Really I know what my parts look like, I don’t need a diagram. Geez Wheez.
Meanwhile, I hope that you all will think of me in your own prayers because between this and kindergarten I’ll need lot's of Divine Intervention!:)
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| Connor's First Pictures |
