Time Out

Week 1:   Oh this is nice.  I’m going to have so much fun staying home with the baby and I can reorganize my closet, finish my thank you notes, and relax.

Week 2:   Ok, a little sleep deprived and low energy, I’ll just sit here on the couch and try to make it through.  I’ll catch up later.

Week 3:  I can’t remember my last name……did I brush my teeth or shower today??  Do I have another child, where is he?  I hope I don’t forget to pick him up again.

Week 4:  must…have…..caffeine.  I think I’m going a little insane.  These four walls are caving in on me.  What month and year is this??  Why won’t this baby stop crying!?!  Why won’t Connor quit jumping off the top rope otherwise known as the couch!?!

That is pretty much how my thought process has been the last few weeks.  I think my sweet Carlee has a touch of the colic.   Pajamas, the remote, and Facebook have been permanent fixtures in my life.  I’m seriously telling you my brain is rotting but I’m too tired to look away.  I’m telling you daytime TV may be causing the downfall of society but I just watch, and watch, and watch:

My Crazy Obsession (is an obsession with wigs really a bad thing, I could love my 27 types of Dolly Parton wigs too!), Biography ( I didn’t know that Ricky Martin was in Menudo and that he dated a woman for 14 years??),  Real Housewives of  Beverly Hills, Orange County, Atlanta, New York, New Jersey, El Paso, Cana…etc. etc. etc.  (It really should be called The Fake Boobs belonging to the Housewives of ----------), Dance Moms/ Toddlers and Tiaras (hey I’m a good mom after all.  I don’t dress my daughter half naked and parade her around like a stripper, good for me.), Who the (Bleep) did I Marry? (oh crap, I hope Darren isn’t leading a double life, he was 15 minutes late from work yesterday!  Who am I kidding, he lost his wallet three times this month, he could never keep up with another family!?), I Almost Got Away With It (what is that noise…oh crap is someone coming after me, am I a goner while watching daytime TV??), House (how are they ever going to solve this breathtaking, questioning, crazy illness in one hour!?!?  All the stress, I think I feel weird, my throat is hurting, I have a rash….), Days of Our Lives (I love John Black/ Roman because he is such an over actor. Best line while he is about to be shot on the airplane [in a deep, dramatic voice] “is this what you do to people who fly coach?”  Haaaaaaaa.  Good one John Black if that is your REAL name.)  Supernanny (What is the point in spanking??  My answer is…  I’m tired and don’t feel like guiding your butt to bed 65 times tonight) and for Gosh Sakes Say YES to the Dress!

Oh man, I have to watch hours of Dr. Phil just to get all of this nonsense out of my head!

Basically this weekend I had enough of feeling terrible.  I woke up and turned this off-

  And turned this off-

And I fixed a healthy salad. 

(I almost gave up then and there because a piece of avocado flew up and hit me in the eye.  My left eye started to swell immediately.  If I had ate a burger and fries, would this have happened??)

Then I read this…

Then I collected this…

And this…

And this…..(allergy season is giving me a fit).

And we went for a great walk in this beautiful weather. 

Being the very WONDERFUL and OBSERVANT mother that I am, it was at least 20 minutes before I realized Carlee wasn't enjoying the scenery as much as we were.  

(Though she didn't really seem to mind, I did fix her hat.)

Connor and I had a great conversation..such as ‘why is your butt so big?’, ‘why are chopped up drugs bad for you?’, and ‘why do people have to get old?’  Such insightful conversation.  

I had to use some self-control not to grab the chips or the remote or computer, after all it is mindless entertainment.   I found a healthy lunch, time with God, the outdoors, and exercise really renewed and refreshed me.   I am going to make a true effort to include these things more daily……that is unless....... a Real World Marathon comes on 

(just kidding).

Channel Surfing

It’s Saturday Night and Darren and Connor are off to bond at the racetrack.  Most every Saturday night they spend quality father/son time...but sometimes C. gets so latched to me he doesn’t want to go.  So this morning I bought him some way cool noise cancellation head phones, and he couldn’t WAIT to try them out at the racetrack!  (Oh Yeah I’m that Good).   

D. repeatedly asked ‘are you sure you don’t want to go? Yes, yes…I don’t want to take from quality MAN time.  As much as I LOVE being alone…the second they left I was bored.  I have a good book I’m in the middle of, I could finish my Sunday School lesson, I could mop the floor,  I could go for a walk,  I could write the next great American novel……but instead I just laid on the couch, completely UNMOTIVATED.  I really wanted to eat the ice cream in the freezer (you know the ice cream my very lean husband bought and eats about ½ cup a week.  Who does that!?)  But I told myself ‘No’, I worked out hard this morning…I am not eating ice cream.  Still, I could not MOVE off the couch. 

This is pretty much my channel flipping history; I guess major networks assume that people go OUT like Johnny Travolta on a Saturday night:

SYFY ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’:  I’m sorry I don’t buy 'Even Stevens'’ (Shia LeBeouf) as the new Indiana Jones…moving right along.

CNBC ‘Princess’:  (where rich brats are reformed through a financial adviser):  Direct quote from Father- “She just breaks that credit card out and doesn’t care what she spends..she was born spoiled”.  Let me think about this one…YOU are the Father…TAKE THE CREDIT CARD AWAY and teach some financial responsibility.  I can’t watch this, it annoys me.

I could use some ice-cream…no, no, no. Don’t think about it..skip over the Food Network.

A&E ‘Hoarders’:  I’m going to GAG looking at the toilet in that house….I’m serious how do you eat at that table??..I’m going to GAG again…I know you want to change your life on this show, but I can’t watch this anymore.

BET ‘Music Awards’:  So Cool Steve Harvey won an award, and he THANKED God and his mama who took him to church! I don’t know any of these singers, where is Beyonce?  Moving on….

TBS ‘The Wedding Planner’:  I’ve seen this before….Yeah Right..noooo way is J-LO single and lonely. 

Why the heck isn’t anyone on Facebook?  Geez am I the ONLY one bored.

Still thinking about ice-cream in the freezer.

NBC ‘Dateline Real Life Mysteries’:  YIKES, the music is scaring me.  Have I seen that guy before?  This show is making me think there is a masked man outside my window NOW..turning channel, turning channel…..

Shop Network ‘Sexy Swimsuits’:  …haaaaaaaaa.  Underwear is less revealing.  What else is on?

Discovery Health ‘Untold Stories of the ER’:  …GROOOOSSSSSSSS ME OUT.

Well I don’t want ice-cream now. 

Lifetime for Women ‘Fatal Lessons- The Good Teacher’:  Drama about a teacher? Noooo thanks.

I’m sure there are people on Facebook now? Great, no one.

E! ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’:  SO SICK OF THE KARDASHIANS…good grief E! just change your name to the Kardashian channel.  Where is the E! True Hollywood Story on Guns N' Roses??

Showtime- ‘New Moon/ Twilight’:  Oh for goodness sake…quit pining over a dead guy and go to college!  Way to go Bella you just set woman kind back 10 years by crying over a boy the whole movie.

I’ll just buy a movie on my DVR, but first I’m getting some ice cream. 

Beastly….Is this for age 13 and under?  This dialogue bites…and I think the whole point is that it’s the inside that counts, not the outside?  Unless you’re an actor…then nobody cares about your insides, but you do have to know how to ACT in a movie ( I think).

Well I wasted my whole night doing NOTHING.  I did manage to pluck my eyebrows, but I don’t think you should pluck when channel surfing….I  look like this now! (Maybe I’ll start a new trend).  

Now the crew is home, so I splashed some soap suds on my face to make it look like I was scrubbing the bathtub, being so busy as normal.  :)