Special Delivery

I’m suppose to be working on Thank You Notes right now, but then I thought…oh my, oh dear, I better blog immediately.  (Not to avoid thank you notes of course, but to update everyone with all the important info., besides I only have 1000 more to write.)  

Carlee Anne is a full week old!  She came into this world a healthy and stout 10 pounds.

Praise God the procedures went well and everyone is healing nicely.  With the exception of low blood sugar at birth, Carlee seems to be a healthy girl.  Of course if worrying was an Olympic Sport I would be a gold medal winner, and I'm already worrying about baby #2.

I have forgotten all the work involved with an infant. 

I just now had a 3 minute shower and clipped my toe nails and I felt like I had spent the day at the spa, and that excludes time to brush my teeth.

I have been working diligently at nursing Carlee.  I nursed Connor and I really feel it is what is best for baby if able.  It’s the only thing organic I’ve ever did for my children.  To think of all the hard work you put in, only to see them scarf Oreos later in life. 

I have never felt so sorry for milk cows.  Every one to two hours I have to feed Carlee (night as well).  As Connor calls it “Milking” Carlee.  I on the other hand am wore completely SLAP out.  I cried about seven times while watching a Real Housewives of Orange County Marathon on Bravo TV and an episode of Power Rangers.  Who knew they were such emotional shows!?  

I am seriously keeping a careful check of the way I feel.  Due to the lack of sleep and lack of control I experienced with Connor, I suffered mild Postpartum Depression.  I always felt too embarrassed to mention how I felt.  I was afraid I sounded like I was complaining when I had so much to be thankful for…I felt silly for feeling sad and bad.  I felt like a crappy mother.  This time I am being more vocal about help I need.  As much as it pains me… I am also allowing the house to look like an episode of Hoarders so I can try to rest more.

Of course with a new baby brings visitors.  So they get to see me look like this 

and my house looks like I don’t understand the word vacuum.  Still, my family, my church family, and coworkers have looked right past those flaws (and perhaps my breath) and have only asked us how they can help, what meals they can bring, and offer well wishes and prayers over Carlee.  It has been very touching.

Connor is adjusting.  He views Carlee in the same way he views his pet lizard-  really cool and neat but best left inside a cage for viewing.  Connor seems most bothered by the fact Carlee has no teeth.  He did offer up some worms for her yesterday.  I was able to catch him before anything got in Carlee’s bassinet and was able to redirect the worms to a better home.  

I was surprised at how fast he allowed dad to takeover.  He has requested his dad for   everything now, which is good, but also annoying.  Helloooo, remember me…I’m the one that always washes your favorite jersey to wear with your favorite jeans!  I’m the one that reads your bed time story with all the voices!  I'm the one that stayed up ALL NIGHT for four years!!!  I know, I know... Time to Let Go woman.  Still, I am very proud of the little fellow, he is doing good with all that is going on.

Mostly, we have all been falling in love with this little squirt.  Even though my head is pounding and my chest feels like it’s been run over by a monster truck and I'm a little panicked my pain meds are dwindling.... nothing beats looking into that little face.  It’s one of life’s JOYS.  As I rock her, I whisper all the important things she needs to know about…Dads are suckers for hugs and kisses, never trust a guy with over gelled hair, orange never goes with red, and sometimes its OK to wear your heart on your sleeve (even if people say you are weak and an over sharer).  

One thing is for sure, Carlee is certainly a special delivery from God.

Love and Christmas

Imagine being a woman getting ready to embark on one of the most exciting times of your life, planning to leave your family, planning a wedding, a life with your significant other, and officially becoming an adult!  Then, OUT OF THE BLUE, you get a message from an angel that YOU are officially pregnant with the Savior of the World!?!  You think people are judgmental today?   I can’t imagine the scandal stirred up by Little Mary of Biblical Times.  I know the scripture tells us that Mary had her own doubts initially, but I often wonder if her reaction was that of a sweet and obedient daughter or if she was more like me…..a questioner who tries to argue ones way out of God’s plan.   God how can you do this to me?  This is supposed to be one of the greatest celebrations of my life and you come, choose my destiny for me, and mess everything up!?! 

Sure, we know NOW that Mary was highly favored by God…but at the time would you think that?  The whole village had to think that she was a major hoochie mama, and her journey really was never easy.  She had to travel pregnant, was chased by the vicious government and leader King Herod (who had all boys killed under age 2/Massacre of Innocence), and had to give birth in what many scholars think was a barn.  There had to be MAJOR feelings of pain, fear, worry, and anxiety everywhere.  Again, I would have SERIOUS questions about this whole “plan”, and more than likely I would be expressing my issues every step of the way.  Are you trying to tell me God, that this is the place I am to deliver the King of the World? That we have to be in danger? That we can’t be comfortable?  Why can’t you just send your child here on a gold cloud, or make this journey easy and comfortable? (maybe eventually I would take a clue that God is in control and shut up)

Since becoming a mother myself, Mary’s story resonates with me, because I can understand how she must have felt in many ways and the significance of the people she relied on.  God gave her more than Angels.  To name a few:  Elizabeth- her relative and friend (who was pregnant with John the Baptist) who encouraged her and told her to trust the plan.  Joseph-  a good man who followed God’s will and Loved Mary and Jesus unconditionally.   The Magi- who tricked King Herod, continued their own grueling journey, and confirmed God’s plan.  The Sheppard: who helped guide and direct Mary and Joseph.  I will tell you this truth…we as parents need more than ourselves to raise children in this world; we need trusted good friends and family.   

I am certain any doubts Mary had was completely wiped out the second her precious little baby boy was born.  Yes, he was God’s son, but he was also her little boy…the same little boy who would take his first steps, say his first words, ‘I love you Mama’, He would get into mishaps, He would get excited over his birthday, make friends, and learn a trade.  Mary would also be there as his mother when he was criticized, ostracized, and eventually beaten and crucified….yes He did it all for His love for us but He was still her little boy.  The thought alone makes my heart ache, to think of the joys and pain that woman experienced….all the time doing the Will of God.   She was simple, but she was special.

 Mothers are special and our journeys are never easy no matter how much you complain (I’ve tried it), but I find prayer always helps.  Every year The Christmas Story (not the story where Ralphie's friend sticks his tongue to the flag pole), The REAL Christmas Story takes on a different meaning for me and leaves me appreciating the love that went into Christ's Birth.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas, enjoy your loved ones and pets…past and present, and remember the LOVE that made the True Christmas.